my lovelies! Oh, how I miss you soooo

yes

it's a real post

it's new

it's long

be prepared

i hope your eyes are well rested

feel free to take a break in the middle

walk around

stretch a little

YEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH

 soooooooooooo

 when I said I’d be posting in a couple of days… 

that obviously was not true… 

I’m sorry I’ve failed you… 

I'm really sorry… 

really.

this seriously was me for like the last 2 hours

I've got finger cramps

Couple things really quick…

One…
Summer is back with a vengeance… this past week (pre-typhoon) it’s been +33°C, but 'feels' like 40°C ish… what does that mean to all the Fahrenheit users out there?! It meaaaaaaaaaaaaaans it’s hotter than Satan’s balls… seriously…
Two…

I’m picking up an English accent from my South African friend

Three…
We’re in the middle of a typhoon… BRING ON TYPHOON SEASON… cheeee…don’t fret my pets… the epicenter isn’t coming near Taipei… we’re just getting buckets of rain. And GUESS WHAT!? Me and the storm have the same name =) cool beans.

Four…

I had my big test this past Wednesday… but I wasn’t too worried about it since I’ve already gone through it once… and guess WHAT YALL…. 91 BABY woot woot… but I kinda feel undeserving… or I don’t know… like I cheated since I’ve gone through the class and the test once before.

I feel absolutely 100% better having gone through this quarter a second time… but now I fear of what’s going to happen next quarter =/

Oh anxiety, I hate you.

Five…

Some feng shui bozo predicted a massive, earth splitting earthquake to hit Taipei on the same day as my test… but anyways, this prediction made headlines, freaked out a whole bunch of people but the Central Weather Bureau came in and said the prediction was not authorized by them even though this “doctor” Wang said it’s based on research (and when he says research he means feng shui)

Six…

pay attn pretty kiddies... this is INTERESTING ;)...If you haven’t heard a random and unusual natural phenomenon happened on Thursday…

OMG yall… I interrupt myself for this funny ditty…

I had my dad on the phone and I asked about the aviary addition to the House of Garcia and Dad goes on to say how happy Both is and he figured out that he was of the Love Bird variety. For the most part he’s very well behaved, let out of his cage he’ll sit on your shoulder or perch happily on your finger… but he’s been getting in the habit of biting… I asked why he said “we’ll whenever I turn him upside down he has a wild fit.” Hahahahah I had to laugh and had to ask… ‘Wouldn’t you have the same reaction if someone turned you upside down?’

I think my dad’s happy for the company and Both has definitely become a part of the family… uh, yeah, how do I know?!?! Dad bought him a 3 ft tall cage complete with 2 bowls for water, 3 bowls for food, 3 perches, a swing, and a mini Jacuzzi with air jets (ok so I made up the last part but it seriously has everything else… spoiled brat ahhahaha).

So Dad walks over to Both and I can hear him chirping away happily and Dad starts talking to him and this is what Pops says…

‘Eyyyyy man, I can’t letcha out, you poop on things.” Hahahhahahhahahah

He goes on to tell me that he chirps an awful lot and sometimes he has these chirpity chirp chirp fits and just goes on and on and on and on and on and on for like forever. Dad tells me…

‘I think he’s lonely, I might need to get him a pet.’ Hahhahaahhah your pet having a pet…

Only Pops would say stuff like that… hahhaha

Now we return to our regular transmission…

So I guess that’s it for the small stuff… onto bigger issues


forget self acceptance! who are we kidding... looks matter... 

sooooo kinda having weight issues for like the first time... oh, ever.... in the past I’ve never had a problem with whatever weight I was at... ok so that's a lie... at my heaviest I kid you not I weighed in at 198 lbs  and I'm only 5'4"  my face was sooooooooo round it looked like the moon. Any who the day I stepped on the the scale at nearly 200 lbs I freeeeaaaked out took off for a run... seriously guys I made it down the block and had to turn around because I was in soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much pain due to the yet to be discovered back problem but anywho once we knew what the issue was, I portioned controlled my diet n lost 30 lbs.

I digressssss...

besides the time before my back surgery I've always been ok with my weight. I knew how to dress my body. I knew better than to try and squeeze myself into clothes that didn't fit. I cared more about what I put in my body than what the shape of it was… and THAT IS still true… but as I’ve said before, being here is giving me a complex… and I hate to say it but I’ve become more sensitive about this issue than I want to be or ever have been before… smh.

Everyone here thinks if you’re a size 2 and up that you’re obese… Everyone here cares how much you weigh and what you look like. And I can no longer ignore that everyone has a problem with my weight and so now it's become my problem too...

Currently I am 80kilos thats about 176 lbs according to the BMI I am morbidly obese and in great danger of having Type 2 diabetes... also according to my height n weight I need to be somewhere between 125-145 lbs. so at the very least I need to lose 30 lbs. 

I guess bein thinner would get people off my back… and it would make it easier to shop for clothes in the land of Size ZEROs… so we'll see... don't know quite what to do about it but I know I gotta do something.

Another thing about appearances here… they like the whiteness man… I know I’ve already told yall about all the creams n junk they got here to bleach peoples skin… that’s not for me… I mean I’m a California girl through n through, I love soakin up the sun and I love being brown… and it’s weird for me to see how pale I've become… I don’t like it… I want my browness back!

When I went to see my uncle last last week, he, his wife, and my cousin all praised me for how pale I’ve become…

His words:

It’s good you’re getting whiter

Now if only you can lose 10kg.

(that’s 22lbs)

and this last thing… and I have to laugh because when I say everyone I MEAN EVERY ONE… even my DAD is on this bandwagon…

everyone wants me to get a Taiwanese boyfriend…

They said it'll be the fastest way to learn Chinese, give me a good reason to stay, and blah blah blah…

BUT LET ME TELL YOU….. NOT gunna happen… why?

Couple reasons…

One: Guys here care too much about their own appearance (I’m not saying I want a bum but when you spend more time on your hair than I do, it’s a problem… when you're quicker than me to try and get a glimpse at your reflection when we pass by a large window, it’s a problem… when you care about the label on your clothes and purse, it’s a problem…)

Two: Guys here care too much about the girls appearance [even to the point where they will constantly remind a girl that she's already ‘fat’ if she chooses to eat dessert]

and Three: Guys here turn to silly putty when they get in relationships (I’m strong willed and I’m gonna need a guy to not only be able to handle it but keep up with me too… seriously… I saw this guy on the metro brushing his GFs hair… and I don't mean running his hands through her hair all sexy like... I mean with a real brush. I kid you not I almost threw up...The funny thing is I’ve seen guy after guy hold their GFs purse but HARDLY EVER see any of them give up their jackets or open the doors for their women… or in general. On multiple occasions I’ve had to help women with strollers or old ladies with the door and in fact, now that I think about it… I’ve never once seen any person check when walkin through a door to see if they should hold it for a person who might be behind/in front of them.)

I’m not saying this applies to ALL TW boys…

I’m not saying no (to future opportunities at least)

I’m not saying me being with a TW boy is IMPOSSIBLE just that it’s highly unlikely. the end.

soooooo in conclusion class...


single dark n fat are possibly the worst things you can be here. 


Check, Check, annnnnd Check oh boy.

‘Oh, Alicia, you’d be pretty if…’ this is whats ringing constantly in my ears since I've landed in this country... le sigh

moving on... just as long as I stay in the country...


I literally cannot leave Taiwan… literally.

I left the States with my U.S. passport and entered with my Taiwanese passport… My [temporary] Taiwanese Passport expired yesterday… UH OHHHHHHHHH and if I should need to leave the country I’d probably get fined for not having a stamp in my U.S. Passport. MAN I don’t know how spies like Jason Bourne deal with the rigmarole of having multiple passports… smh

So what's going to happen now?... wait until July, it’s the only thing I can do… I’ll try n break it down for you.

*July 27 (take note, that’s also my birthday. Dad, I’m speaking to you here.) will mark my one year residency in Taiwan

*After that day I will be able to submit my paper work for my citizenship..

*Upon approval I will be given a Taiwanese I.D. (which basically means I’m able to apply for a TW passport.)

 *Once I get my I.D. (the actual physical card) I will be able to reapply for my Taiwan passport

 *After receiving both my TW I.D. and Passport I will undeniably be a citizenship of the great country Taiwan (and yes I firmly believe Taiwan is its own country, I don’t care what China says.)

As for the possible timeline for me coming home for a lil visit goes something like this…

I will finish school at the end of August…

At the end of August or the first week of September I would like to go to Palau... My girl Landi is from there and will be going home for 3 weeks, It’s super cheap right now to get a ticket from TW to Palau (the problem with the Palau trip is that it makes my TW Passport thing an time sensitive issue)

And AFTER Palau I would like to come home for a visit…

SO it looks like it’s definitely after August… but if it’s going to be that late in the year, I'm wondering if I should hold off and just come home for the holidays??? I don’t know, nothing’s been decided for sure. Sorry.

*POOF* magically reappearing people all other people need not read

Sooooo remember that friend who up in disappeared back in October? Well person made contact and without revealing their personal reasons all over the internet for going MIA I can tell you that the decision had absolutely nothing to do with me. Should I be happy that it had nothing to do with me?! NO, in fact it irked me to the max.... but hey I know I was not the only person wondering what was up with the Houdini act.

I think it kinda bothers me that your decision lacked caring about how I would feel (hahah as self centered as that sounds) and of course other folks too but hey we're talking about me right now… 
don’t you know those kind of decisions (although made for the benefit of oneself) effects everyone else? Even people an ocean away?!?!

Obviously what I say doesn’t matter… so I might as well say it right? And honestly when has anything stopped me from saying what I want?

ONE- if the internet is the only way we can stay in contact you should have told me what you were going to do… I really thought you didn’t want to be my friend and that really fuckin hurt my feelings… ESP to have done that in OCTOBER

TWO- you can’t just pop up and expect things to be the same saying "hey, I was gone but now I’m back P.S. it had nothing to do with you”… I don’t know anyone who would be okay with being ignored for over half a year.. what was I suppose to think?!?!

THREE- you should have said sorry

But I know better than to try and think I can tell someone what to do.

I know I'm putting our business all out in the open but I guess all I’m trying to say is… 


your selfish decision hurt my feelings and that is all.

On a happy note I will leave you with this…

THE BIGGEST CONGRATULATIONS
TO MY COUSIN WHO IS GETTING MARRIED NEXT MONTH… it’s my first Taiwanese wedding and I’m totally excited!

cheeeeeeeeeeeeee

I’m gonna rock a Persimmon colored dress.

yeah yeah you know it

=D

AND

I’ve made a real, flesh n blood

Taiwanese friend

He’s super cool,

well mannered

into music n movies

studying law,

yup, theres more

but I’m not tryin

to put the boy out on front street

ya know?!

Hahahahhahaha

Oh yeah, one more thing

I finally figured out the English name for my favorite TW veggies

This is “Snake Gourd”

And look he’s happy to see you too ;)

Here’s how you’d normally see it when cooked.

I have NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

idea why I like it soooo much... it seriously tastes like dirt.

And hey, no smart ass questions like, how do YOU know what dirt tastes like.

You know what I mean, it tastes like the smell of dirt...

verrrrrry earthy tasting.

yummmmoooo

p.s. I don't know what those stringy thingies are in the picture

AND THIS MY LOVELIES…is WATER BAMBOOOOOOOO

And its DEEEEElicious


stir fry is the usual way people cook it
by its self or with other veggies n meat

kinda the same texture as bamboo but more crisp and fresh tasting.

yummo
the sad part is, it's a summer veggie
oh wait, is bamboo considered a vegetable?
hmmm
something to ponder upon






man was this post long or what?!?!
go take a break, you deserve it
;)
as always, thanks for being so patient and waiting for this post
i love you alllllll
most of my readers are family n friends
actually, i'm pretty sure i know all my readers
except for Kansas
SOOOO
i want to give a special shout out to Kansas
thanks for always checking in to see if i've finnnnnnaly posted something new
THIS ONE'S DEDICATED TO YOU
♥ ♥ ♥

to hold you over...

watch me first!
↓

then meeeeeeeeeeeee 
↓

i swear...

I was ninjad this weekend by a migraine =(

I'm lookin like this on the computer.

You WiLL have a post in the next couple of days.

just so you know...
Both is still alive and well.
Dad says he's getting a lil too chirpy
but he's gonna keep him.

his name is Both

my dad accidently caught a parakeet (and when i say accidently i mean the bird flew into our window and my dad rescued it)... my dad and his friend Todd were sitting in the garage when the bird flew himself into our window... dad said it made him a 'lil lulu' so he told Todd to hand him the fishing net... using the fishing net he caught the bird.


then came the naming of the new addition to the Garcia household. Todd said they both caught the bird so he should be call Both... my dad says "All you did was hand me the net, you didnt do nothin. I'm the one that did the catching." hahahahhaha




my dad has had this antique bamboo bird cage for ever so he put Both in there... he had no bird feed so he gave him some trail mix... Both didn't like it... then Dad gave him some David's Sunflower seeds... Jalapeño flavored... it was the preferred of the two




i damn near died from laughing... im afraid Both wont live longer than a week...

my lovelies!

what's good? what's happening? what's new?

nothing new to report really... me n moms just handling our biznissssss

summers coming, ya know how I know?!?! the other night I heard the cicadas chirping for the firt time since last November AND I'm having an allergic reaction to the heat. all my life I was told that I do not have any allergies but lo n behold I'm actually allergic to the heat. I get these weird bumpy looking things on my digits (woopah! threw an anatomy word atcha; digits aka philanges aka fingers... look it up). well any who I think the dermatologist said something about the tops of your fingers not having sweat glands and since my body is trying to produce sweat to cool it off due to the extreme heat blah blah medical term blah medical term blah. so ima go see a derma here close to my place.

yesterday mom was able to get her blood work done and get an uber exclusive appointment with her specialist for this afternoon. she says her legs are all better but i think she should still check it out... better be to cleared and in good health... than have her in a wheel chair. ya know?

funny thing tho, her first night her she was saying how she's alllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll better and she probably didn't need to go see the doctor but then I chewed her out, gave her a piece of my mind and told her to go see her doctor and you know what she said?!?!?! and I quote,

"Yes, Mom."

I damn near died of laughter... forreal and not for fake.

well later tonight her n her school friends are getting together for dinner n a pow wow. so that means I'm pretty much going to be left out of most of the conversation. so I decided to drag along my friend Abraham. he's the coolest kid on the block, don't be jealous. hahahah He's actually my moms classmates son, I've known him for like ever n a day. it'll be fun and it'll be nice to have someone to talk to.

well off to start the day. love ya today n everyday
cheeeeeeeeeeeeeee

ello lovelies

Got sick again =[ sad face indeed. it's not so bad this around it seems to have only effected my throat. the result? I sound like I swallowed a frog. this ain't no sexy sick raspy voice. this is 13 year old boy hitting puberty voice cracking ugliness.

letsee I'm writing this in my handy dandy iPod (haha every time I say handy dandy I feel like should end it with notebook heeeeeey throwback to the Blues Clues days woot woot...) actually I'm technically writing on the 16th. I'm staying at my 舅舅s house because he's kind enough provide a ride to the airport to get my mom.

that's right folks while you're reading this me n the Momster will be trippin the light fantastic around Taiwanderland. well hopefully, she did come here with certain things she needs to handle. she's definitely gotta hit up her Dr for a check up and possibly refilling her Rx n what not.  I'm really sad her trip is only for 4 days, it's SO short but ya know moms she's short on time cuz she's always so busy.  we don't have anything solid planned but I'm sure we'll be hittin up the fam bam and Auntie Amy of course.

I know one of my classmates wants to meet the Momster (I just think she wants to meet the person who created the weird n wonderfully wacky me) we'll see if we can pack that all into her 4 days.

oh man you should have seen me Saturday morning before leaving for my Uncles. I was a cleaning machine; cleaned my room, did laundry, tidied up the kitchen, then packed n got ready to come goTaoyuan. I'm happy to say Momster will come over to a spik n span house. =]

(wooooo flash forward)

Mom got into Taoyuan safe n sound!

Uncle Henry was kind enough to put my up for the night and pick up Momster from the airport at 6 this morning.

We had breakfast together and he dropped us off in Taipei.

my moms been unpacking and hell to the YEAH she brought me the real Saracha sauce and Salt N Vinegar Pringles...

I kid you not the Pringles is already half gone

and have found a nice home in my tummy.

mmm yummo

EY Foooooo

(thas what I call my sister just in case you didn't know)

anywho

謝 謝,謝 謝你

Mommy gave me your gift.

GLEE season 1 FTW!!

winning!!

my heart just broke...

my truck...

oh NO my BAY BEEEEEEEEE... MONSTER

the water pump in my truck busted

=(

Pop's is taking him into the shop in a lil bit...

I feel like I should be pacing back n forth.

& my scraper...

Dad hit something and its been parked at the house every since....

poor Mattress

=(

OH NO

my poor lil ♥ can't take it

my CARS!!!!

and another thing...

I CANT STAND THE WAY GIRLS IN TAIWAN DRAMAS JUST STAND THERE WHEN THEY GET KISSED...

OR WORSE... THEY HAVE THEIR EYES WIDE OPEN!

COME ON WOMAN!

fuhhhhhhhhh

Seriously don’t know what’s wrong with me… I know yall thinkin oh lawd here she go again…. complain complain complain…

Yea that’s right, I’m a complainer….

FOR ONCE I would like to see the best friend get the girl! Never ever will you see the guy who tries SOOOOOO hard to get the girl actually get her in the end… it’s always the guy who cheated, or he's a liar, or a rich playboy… always the reformed person who gets the girl… EVERY single one of the dramas I’ve seen, the better man never gets the girl… and it pisses me off. juuuuusssssssSayin

So yeah, I really don’t know what’s wrong with me… I always root for the underdog knowing who’ll win out in the end… I kid you not, its torture watching it all unfold…
le sigh 

but I can’t stop watching.

Life

Yeah, well I’m working on it…

EeeeeeeeeeeeeeGAD! Readership is down 200%! At least that’s what the Statcounter shows… nooo problem 都是我的錯， 我很久沒寫，我真的很抱歉。I will honestly try to write more. I know I always say that… so we’ll see how it works out this time around.

I think I’ve turned into a 苦瓜… just hella bitter… I think I probably should have made this trip with a friend or something. I’m constantly surrounded by people but I feel alone… really it’s almost palpable.

My only companion is my music… it’s probably my best friend here… but for a people person… I’m kinda missing the people part. Heh

I’m workin on making friends but it’s the same ol same ol… people at my school come n go like it’s a revolving door. I suppose it’s not so different than back home… I feel like I’m always the one calling, always left waiting for people to finally be the ones to ask me to hang out… cuz we all know I never ask to tag along, I never invite myself places or crash someone elses party.

I can’t really say much about having made Taiwanese friends. I have a couple… I think… but have yet to really hang out with any of them… weird, yes, I know.

Lesssssssssssssssseee what else… class is going better?

Chinese is coming a little bit easier but I just don’t have any opportunities to practice. It’s weird to feel things clickin in my brain but without having anyone to practice it with my learning is still movin at a snails pace.

Ya know what I don’t think there’s anything else to say… not unless you wanna hear me keep on complainin about the same ol same ol shiz…. I mean even I’m tired of feelin this way…

It’s not like I’m happy being this way but I can honestly say 我沒有辦法… I don’t know how to change it… I have no way to change it…maybe I should focus on finding a job…

A's to your Q's

don't forget kiddies!

questions?

feel free to email me !

goneandsaidit@gmail.com

and... to always wash behind your ears

and floss
wear clean underwear everday
you DON'T want to
get caught wearing your Tuesday underwear on a Wednesday


jusssSayin

;]

Raphael Saadiq- Stone Rollin'

for all the stacked girls...

this is an all in one kinda thing

我很抱歉 =|

I haven’t written in a dumb ass long time… I have a feeling this bloggy is gonna be a lil schitzo… a lil sassy… a lil bitter… a lil funny… but a lotta flavor… don’t get caught up though… I’m perfectly fine, happy n content… REAL talk… these just some things I needa express…

This country is giving me a complex… seriously…

Dark vs. Light

I’m too dark… but have no fear, there are PLENTY of bleaching creams out there… and if I can’t physically get lighter, make up is the solution! Becaaaaaaaaaaaaaause THERE ARE NO DARK COMPLEXION beauty products here… even the international bands like L'ORÉAL, Maybelline and BENEFIT don’t import the darker shades of foundation. I tried to get BENEFIT’s You Rebel in its regular shade but I couldn’t because it because it’s too dark, WTF?! it’s the REGULAR shade… here they only have the You Rebel Lite … (I bet all the guys are like wuhhhhhhhhhhh?! hahahaha sorry about the make up talk)


le sigh… well after being here for 9 months (HOLY TIME BATMAN HAVE I REALLY BEEN HERE FOR 9 MONTHS, yes, yes I have…amazing aint it?!) it looks like I’m lightening up anyway… I’m so pale I think people might actually start to believe me when I say I’m half white hahahaha even my dad demoted me from my lifelong shade of paper sack tan to Casper white. SMH yall…

In the Land of Stick Figures

No doubt that the best places to shop in Taiwan are the night markets... shopping there is soooooo cheap... to bad everything is "ONE SIZE" or as they like to call it “FREE SIZE” so a person with love handles, spare tires, curves, hips, n boobs are all shit outta luck.

First of all… people do not come in one size… ONE SIZE DOES NOT FIT ALL PEOPLE…

Secondly… FREE size does not make me feel free…

I guess I’m kinda lucky that the girls here like the wear things loose cuz I wear my shit fitted. So when I wear their “baggy” styles it actually look not so bad on me ahahah…

I’m tired of folks saying “ Oh, Alicia if only you were skinny, you’d be so beautiful… blah blah blah…”

If you’ve read the “The FAT Girl” post then you already know I done got called fat by some Captain Douche, ohhhhhhhhhh I can’t even tell you how heated I was… and faster than lightening I went Oakland on him… yall don’t even know... I’ve never even been in a fight back home but I was really gonna knock this dude out…

Perrrrrrrrrhaps I wouldn’t be so butt hurt if I didn't just lost some weight… 

(wellllllllllllll if you start count from my heaviest weight… I’ve lost a total of +25lbs give or take…)

So back to the night markets… I try n buy something there and the shop girls very frankly tell me that they don’t have anything in my size, dismiss me and move on to the next customer. If you ever want want a blow to the ego... 

I’m left having to shop in actual stores where they have real sizes (and yes the quality is a bit better) but the prices are 3 times what I’d pay in a night market.

Listen up folks... 
I KNOW I'm not fat... 
I KNOW I'm not ugly... 
these things that people people say... 
yes they're hurtful... 
but I'm ok, really.
I know not everyone will find me
cute or beautiful or desirable
and
they have the right to say whatever they like... 
it just hurts to actually hear it for yourself. 
Trust me though... 
just cuz I got my feelings hurt it does not mean 
I believe what they say... 
what I do believe in is my self worth... 
and baby... 
I'm priceless.

Out and about, nights out on the town… yeah, not really…

Don’t be fooled by the pictures yalll…. It’s not all it’s cracked up to be… I might be going out but it’s pretty much outta desperation… the only time I do go out is to accompany my friend to what's become our 'usual' place...  and the reason we go back weekend... after weekend after weekend after weekend.... is..... fuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I can’t really reveal my friends secret… but anyways let’s just say we go out to chill…. That’s all I can say.

I know whatchu thinkin… “Alicia, outta desperation? Is it really that bad?” and my reply? “Naw… you know me even if I’m chillin I’m still having a good time.” I mean would I rather be out there gettin down with the get down out on the dance floor hellllll to the YEAH but what am I suppose to do? My girl don’t dance so where am I? sittin next to her, posted, chillin…

Friends… yup still don’t have any…

At least not like the ones I have back home… Yeah, yeah I know that sounds hella mean… but come on really… my ride or die chicks are still back in Cali where I left em… and I can’t seem to find none here.

I know if my Taiwan girls read this it might start some shit but… idk… whatevs…

My friend (and yeah that’s singular) here… she don’t like to go out… introvert to the max… the only thing we have in common is our love of food… yall laugh but its true.

Funny that she's the biggest introvert I know but she's the one I've been going out with. Like I just said I go out with her because I’m desperate to get outta the house… but as I said I cannot reveal the real reason as to why we go out and why it is always to that particular bar/club.


Here's the effed up part of it all... every time I ask her to go out… it’s pretty much always no…

And I can’t fault her, forreal cuz thas just who she is. I know that, I know who she is, I know how she is... so I can’t really be mad… I can’t… 


I know the answer is no because the places I want to go require traveling and blah blah blah blah.... so I guess I can be mad at the situatiooonn but definitely not mad at her.

There is this other girl here whose mad cool but she’s here on scholarship and is constantly restricted by her budget… and we all know life costs money. So I can’t very well fault her either…

Last quarter is this quarter, say what?!

That’s right lady n germs, even though I passed my achievement test I decided to retake the quarter. I actually have my teacher from first quarter. She knows what the situation is and has definitely been helping me focus on my speaking… its coming a long… kinda.

The stress level is WAY down… I find myself sleeping better… it’s just a matter of getting on regular, normal hour sleeping schedule. My new class is back to the 12-2 time slot… although the time slot is the worst possible if I want to try and see my family for lunch but its been working out with trying to readjust my sleepies.

ME NO SPEAKEY ANY CHINESEY…

9 months in and I’m still not speaking Chinese…it’s my fault I know this…

I haven’t made any Taiwanese friends…

all my friends still only speak in English…

watching Taiwan dramas is fun and addicting but it only helps with listening and understanding…

but as I’ve said before… what kind of Alicia would I be if I was mute…

I feel so limited by my vocabulary I can’t help but to always switch back into English…




one more thing...


i feel like im the only one trying... 


ok so i dont post every day but i eventually get to it... and these posts are open and honest and not at all easy to write... and i get a couple FB posts? a 'hey how ya doin?'... how about an email?


seems like i'm the only one calling... and 1 time out of 20 will someone actually pick up... how about actually getting SKYPE like you said you would...


people said they'd come see me but i know no one will... this i can forgive... errrbody be broke nowadays but i can still dream...


and in the end... come this fall (date still undecided) the fact of the matter is it will still be me who comes to you.


I'm tired, and maybe I should just stop looking back towards home...
Maybe I should focus on the here. But I doubt it'd matter... the people I spent most of my time with (family excluded) don't even bother with me... outta sight outta mind
One of my favorite people in the whole wide world stopped talking to me way back in Sept/Oct-ish... she refuses to respond on FB, I've sent messages, called and left a couple messages and texts and it hurts my heart... but i can only be on this end for so long... i gave up


I can't make people miss me...
even if they miss me 
I can't make them talk to me...
even if they talk to me
I can't make them say something more than Hey, Hi, Hello, How ya doin?


I knew this could happen, I was afraid this would happen...  but it was my choice to come here so I accept this. When I do decide to come home, I've decided not post the dates here. When I come home I will spend my time with my family and my soon to be born nephew (he's due in about 6 weeks, and no not my real nephew, my best friend slash college room mates'). My time is for those who've made time for me.