my lovelies! Oh, how I miss you soooo

yes

it's a real post

it's new

it's long

be prepared

i hope your eyes are well rested

feel free to take a break in the middle

walk around

stretch a little

YEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH

 soooooooooooo

 when I said I’d be posting in a couple of days… 

that obviously was not true… 

I’m sorry I’ve failed you… 

I'm really sorry… 

really.

this seriously was me for like the last 2 hours

I've got finger cramps

Couple things really quick…

One…
Summer is back with a vengeance… this past week (pre-typhoon) it’s been +33°C, but 'feels' like 40°C ish… what does that mean to all the Fahrenheit users out there?! It meaaaaaaaaaaaaaans it’s hotter than Satan’s balls… seriously…
Two…

I’m picking up an English accent from my South African friend

Three…
We’re in the middle of a typhoon… BRING ON TYPHOON SEASON… cheeee…don’t fret my pets… the epicenter isn’t coming near Taipei… we’re just getting buckets of rain. And GUESS WHAT!? Me and the storm have the same name =) cool beans.

Four…

I had my big test this past Wednesday… but I wasn’t too worried about it since I’ve already gone through it once… and guess WHAT YALL…. 91 BABY woot woot… but I kinda feel undeserving… or I don’t know… like I cheated since I’ve gone through the class and the test once before.

I feel absolutely 100% better having gone through this quarter a second time… but now I fear of what’s going to happen next quarter =/

Oh anxiety, I hate you.

Five…

Some feng shui bozo predicted a massive, earth splitting earthquake to hit Taipei on the same day as my test… but anyways, this prediction made headlines, freaked out a whole bunch of people but the Central Weather Bureau came in and said the prediction was not authorized by them even though this “doctor” Wang said it’s based on research (and when he says research he means feng shui)

Six…

pay attn pretty kiddies... this is INTERESTING ;)...If you haven’t heard a random and unusual natural phenomenon happened on Thursday…

OMG yall… I interrupt myself for this funny ditty…

I had my dad on the phone and I asked about the aviary addition to the House of Garcia and Dad goes on to say how happy Both is and he figured out that he was of the Love Bird variety. For the most part he’s very well behaved, let out of his cage he’ll sit on your shoulder or perch happily on your finger… but he’s been getting in the habit of biting… I asked why he said “we’ll whenever I turn him upside down he has a wild fit.” Hahahahah I had to laugh and had to ask… ‘Wouldn’t you have the same reaction if someone turned you upside down?’

I think my dad’s happy for the company and Both has definitely become a part of the family… uh, yeah, how do I know?!?! Dad bought him a 3 ft tall cage complete with 2 bowls for water, 3 bowls for food, 3 perches, a swing, and a mini Jacuzzi with air jets (ok so I made up the last part but it seriously has everything else… spoiled brat ahhahaha).

So Dad walks over to Both and I can hear him chirping away happily and Dad starts talking to him and this is what Pops says…

‘Eyyyyy man, I can’t letcha out, you poop on things.” Hahahhahahhahahah

He goes on to tell me that he chirps an awful lot and sometimes he has these chirpity chirp chirp fits and just goes on and on and on and on and on and on for like forever. Dad tells me…

‘I think he’s lonely, I might need to get him a pet.’ Hahhahaahhah your pet having a pet…

Only Pops would say stuff like that… hahhaha

Now we return to our regular transmission…

So I guess that’s it for the small stuff… onto bigger issues


forget self acceptance! who are we kidding... looks matter... 

sooooo kinda having weight issues for like the first time... oh, ever.... in the past I’ve never had a problem with whatever weight I was at... ok so that's a lie... at my heaviest I kid you not I weighed in at 198 lbs  and I'm only 5'4"  my face was sooooooooo round it looked like the moon. Any who the day I stepped on the the scale at nearly 200 lbs I freeeeaaaked out took off for a run... seriously guys I made it down the block and had to turn around because I was in soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much pain due to the yet to be discovered back problem but anywho once we knew what the issue was, I portioned controlled my diet n lost 30 lbs.

I digressssss...

besides the time before my back surgery I've always been ok with my weight. I knew how to dress my body. I knew better than to try and squeeze myself into clothes that didn't fit. I cared more about what I put in my body than what the shape of it was… and THAT IS still true… but as I’ve said before, being here is giving me a complex… and I hate to say it but I’ve become more sensitive about this issue than I want to be or ever have been before… smh.

Everyone here thinks if you’re a size 2 and up that you’re obese… Everyone here cares how much you weigh and what you look like. And I can no longer ignore that everyone has a problem with my weight and so now it's become my problem too...

Currently I am 80kilos thats about 176 lbs according to the BMI I am morbidly obese and in great danger of having Type 2 diabetes... also according to my height n weight I need to be somewhere between 125-145 lbs. so at the very least I need to lose 30 lbs. 

I guess bein thinner would get people off my back… and it would make it easier to shop for clothes in the land of Size ZEROs… so we'll see... don't know quite what to do about it but I know I gotta do something.

Another thing about appearances here… they like the whiteness man… I know I’ve already told yall about all the creams n junk they got here to bleach peoples skin… that’s not for me… I mean I’m a California girl through n through, I love soakin up the sun and I love being brown… and it’s weird for me to see how pale I've become… I don’t like it… I want my browness back!

When I went to see my uncle last last week, he, his wife, and my cousin all praised me for how pale I’ve become…

His words:

It’s good you’re getting whiter

Now if only you can lose 10kg.

(that’s 22lbs)

and this last thing… and I have to laugh because when I say everyone I MEAN EVERY ONE… even my DAD is on this bandwagon…

everyone wants me to get a Taiwanese boyfriend…

They said it'll be the fastest way to learn Chinese, give me a good reason to stay, and blah blah blah…

BUT LET ME TELL YOU….. NOT gunna happen… why?

Couple reasons…

One: Guys here care too much about their own appearance (I’m not saying I want a bum but when you spend more time on your hair than I do, it’s a problem… when you're quicker than me to try and get a glimpse at your reflection when we pass by a large window, it’s a problem… when you care about the label on your clothes and purse, it’s a problem…)

Two: Guys here care too much about the girls appearance [even to the point where they will constantly remind a girl that she's already ‘fat’ if she chooses to eat dessert]

and Three: Guys here turn to silly putty when they get in relationships (I’m strong willed and I’m gonna need a guy to not only be able to handle it but keep up with me too… seriously… I saw this guy on the metro brushing his GFs hair… and I don't mean running his hands through her hair all sexy like... I mean with a real brush. I kid you not I almost threw up...The funny thing is I’ve seen guy after guy hold their GFs purse but HARDLY EVER see any of them give up their jackets or open the doors for their women… or in general. On multiple occasions I’ve had to help women with strollers or old ladies with the door and in fact, now that I think about it… I’ve never once seen any person check when walkin through a door to see if they should hold it for a person who might be behind/in front of them.)

I’m not saying this applies to ALL TW boys…

I’m not saying no (to future opportunities at least)

I’m not saying me being with a TW boy is IMPOSSIBLE just that it’s highly unlikely. the end.

soooooo in conclusion class...


single dark n fat are possibly the worst things you can be here. 


Check, Check, annnnnd Check oh boy.

‘Oh, Alicia, you’d be pretty if…’ this is whats ringing constantly in my ears since I've landed in this country... le sigh

moving on... just as long as I stay in the country...


I literally cannot leave Taiwan… literally.

I left the States with my U.S. passport and entered with my Taiwanese passport… My [temporary] Taiwanese Passport expired yesterday… UH OHHHHHHHHH and if I should need to leave the country I’d probably get fined for not having a stamp in my U.S. Passport. MAN I don’t know how spies like Jason Bourne deal with the rigmarole of having multiple passports… smh

So what's going to happen now?... wait until July, it’s the only thing I can do… I’ll try n break it down for you.

*July 27 (take note, that’s also my birthday. Dad, I’m speaking to you here.) will mark my one year residency in Taiwan

*After that day I will be able to submit my paper work for my citizenship..

*Upon approval I will be given a Taiwanese I.D. (which basically means I’m able to apply for a TW passport.)

 *Once I get my I.D. (the actual physical card) I will be able to reapply for my Taiwan passport

 *After receiving both my TW I.D. and Passport I will undeniably be a citizenship of the great country Taiwan (and yes I firmly believe Taiwan is its own country, I don’t care what China says.)

As for the possible timeline for me coming home for a lil visit goes something like this…

I will finish school at the end of August…

At the end of August or the first week of September I would like to go to Palau... My girl Landi is from there and will be going home for 3 weeks, It’s super cheap right now to get a ticket from TW to Palau (the problem with the Palau trip is that it makes my TW Passport thing an time sensitive issue)

And AFTER Palau I would like to come home for a visit…

SO it looks like it’s definitely after August… but if it’s going to be that late in the year, I'm wondering if I should hold off and just come home for the holidays??? I don’t know, nothing’s been decided for sure. Sorry.

*POOF* magically reappearing people all other people need not read

Sooooo remember that friend who up in disappeared back in October? Well person made contact and without revealing their personal reasons all over the internet for going MIA I can tell you that the decision had absolutely nothing to do with me. Should I be happy that it had nothing to do with me?! NO, in fact it irked me to the max.... but hey I know I was not the only person wondering what was up with the Houdini act.

I think it kinda bothers me that your decision lacked caring about how I would feel (hahah as self centered as that sounds) and of course other folks too but hey we're talking about me right now… 
don’t you know those kind of decisions (although made for the benefit of oneself) effects everyone else? Even people an ocean away?!?!

Obviously what I say doesn’t matter… so I might as well say it right? And honestly when has anything stopped me from saying what I want?

ONE- if the internet is the only way we can stay in contact you should have told me what you were going to do… I really thought you didn’t want to be my friend and that really fuckin hurt my feelings… ESP to have done that in OCTOBER

TWO- you can’t just pop up and expect things to be the same saying "hey, I was gone but now I’m back P.S. it had nothing to do with you”… I don’t know anyone who would be okay with being ignored for over half a year.. what was I suppose to think?!?!

THREE- you should have said sorry

But I know better than to try and think I can tell someone what to do.

I know I'm putting our business all out in the open but I guess all I’m trying to say is… 


your selfish decision hurt my feelings and that is all.

On a happy note I will leave you with this…

THE BIGGEST CONGRATULATIONS
TO MY COUSIN WHO IS GETTING MARRIED NEXT MONTH… it’s my first Taiwanese wedding and I’m totally excited!

cheeeeeeeeeeeeee

I’m gonna rock a Persimmon colored dress.

yeah yeah you know it

=D

AND

I’ve made a real, flesh n blood

Taiwanese friend

He’s super cool,

well mannered

into music n movies

studying law,

yup, theres more

but I’m not tryin

to put the boy out on front street

ya know?!

Hahahahhahaha

Oh yeah, one more thing

I finally figured out the English name for my favorite TW veggies

This is “Snake Gourd”

And look he’s happy to see you too ;)

Here’s how you’d normally see it when cooked.

I have NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

idea why I like it soooo much... it seriously tastes like dirt.

And hey, no smart ass questions like, how do YOU know what dirt tastes like.

You know what I mean, it tastes like the smell of dirt...

verrrrrry earthy tasting.

yummmmoooo

p.s. I don't know what those stringy thingies are in the picture

AND THIS MY LOVELIES…is WATER BAMBOOOOOOOO

And its DEEEEElicious


stir fry is the usual way people cook it
by its self or with other veggies n meat

kinda the same texture as bamboo but more crisp and fresh tasting.

yummo
the sad part is, it's a summer veggie
oh wait, is bamboo considered a vegetable?
hmmm
something to ponder upon






man was this post long or what?!?!
go take a break, you deserve it
;)
as always, thanks for being so patient and waiting for this post
i love you alllllll
most of my readers are family n friends
actually, i'm pretty sure i know all my readers
except for Kansas
SOOOO
i want to give a special shout out to Kansas
thanks for always checking in to see if i've finnnnnnaly posted something new
THIS ONE'S DEDICATED TO YOU
♥ ♥ ♥