DAY 23

Something you crave for a LOT...

(hahah it became thingS you crave for... and of course what ELSE would Alicia crave for but FOOD from home... enjoy! and try not to drool on your keyboard folks!)

I miss EVERYTHING at Sushi House
(Alameda, CA)


...mmm rasberry buttercreams, vanilla nut fudge, scotchmallows, dark walnuts... drool...
(West Coast... the best coast, U.S.A)


...chicken salad, banh hoi, bum rieu.... ugh everything here is delicious...
(Oakland [Chinatown], CA)


... faaawk I really REALLY miss my usual... 10" Philly with mushrooms and a side of CORN FRITTERS... hella bomb... the end
(ALL OVER haha, but of course my fave is the one on Lakeshore where they already know my order)


...chiew chow ho fun, fried fish cake and iced coffee... smh I really want some
(Oakland [Chinatown], CA)


...I think I miss my boys as much as I miss their food... =)
(Alameda, CA)


...BEST hot chocolate you will EVER have... and their truffles are beyond mouthgasmic... seriously... no joke...
(Santa Cruz [Pacific Ave.], CA)


...best tzatiki I've ever had in MY LIFE... WARNING: there's a lot of garlic in there and you're breath WILL be kickin like the FIFA world cup for like 3 days...
(Santa Cruz [Mission St.], CA)


...spicy meat sauce lasagna and the chocolate mouse cake dessert... and on the weekends they'd have a pizza dough tossing show... amaaaazing
I really miss my bestie =/
(Santa Cruz [Pacific Ave.], CA)


...corn beef n hash with sunny side up eggs, hash browns, wheat toast hold the butter, with a cup of coffee sitting across the booth from my dad... those breakfasts were the best...
I really miss my dad =/
(Oakland [Lake Merritt], CA)


...for food: crab melt on white lightly toasted... for ice cream: petite sundae with coffee ice cream unless its Christmas time... then I get peppermint ice cream.
(Oakland [Piedmont Ave.], CA)


...hash brown scattered, cheese eggs, cheddar grits, side of bacon, raisin toast, and if I have room, biscuits n gravy.... and if I don't have room it's okay cuz I'll just go back the next day... =)
I really miss my sissy =/
(The SOUTH hahha, U.S.A)

I dedicate this bloggy to my bestie ;) I ♥ n miss you bunches Adriana... hugs to Carlos too!

DAY 22

What makes you different from everyone else?

Well that's an easy one!... I am me, and you are you and that makes us different, no?!





















Actually I don't know what makes me different... I think I think some of the same things as other people, feel the same way about things the way others do, and I do things that are done by many...
I can only answer that no two people are the same.

DAY 21

A picture of something that makes you happy...

music is my religion...
"some people pray... I just turn up the volume..."

I would also like to say that coffee makes me very happy as well... but I'm sure you already know what a cup of coffee looks like...
and if you're at all interested; I like regular coffee not lattes, no frappes, no grande anything... just regular coffee with milk, no sugar.

DAY 20

Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future...

Ahhhhahahhahaha wow... that's laughable... Me? Get married? nope... not for me.
I don't believe in marriage. Does that mean I'm going to be a spinster lady with a million and 1 cats?! Hell to the naw! (people, don't get offended, this is a PERSONAL opinion here) I don't believe you need a piece of paper or recognition by the government or a church to validate the commitment of a relationship [I interject on myself... to be married WOULD however get you some nice tax breaks ;)]. I know myself... and I can be totally committed to a person without having to be married to him.

As far as who I see myself being with? I don't really know... I know that if I have kids, I'd want them to be adopted. So I suppose that's who I'll be with in the future... whether there's a man in my life doesn't really matter...




(...and ummm if you're wondering, the answer is yes, I always give my opinions so assuredly.)

DAY 19

Nicknames you have; why do you have them?

The only one that's ever really stuck was "Hunkachunk"
haha as you can see by the picture of me when I was little why my dad gave me that nickname. I had those chubby sausage link limbs and my dad always said I was a "hunk of a chunk" which got shortened to Hunkachunk.


Other nicknames:
Sugarloaf (again given to me by my Dad) When I understood what Hunkachunk meant i got mad so he started calling me Sugarloaf cause he said I was so sweet... but eventually it always came back to Hunkachunk

most others are just shortened versions of my name:
Ally, LiLi or Leesh

DAY 18

Plans/Goals/Dreams that you have...


Here's the PLAN Stan....
It looks like I'll be here in Taiwan for at least 2-3 years... depending, it may be longer. Who knows what the future holds?! I might just settle down here... at the moment I don't find that too likely. As long as my dad's around I think my heart will always want to go home to him.

The reason for the 2-3 year estimate is the fluency issue. The GOAL I suppose is to be as fluent as possible. They say it should take about 2-3 years for fluency and probably around 5 for literacy. And also to get my citizenship, but I think the language is actually going to be tougher to get.


My DREAM would be to win the lotto so I could buy my own private island and read books on the beach all day every day.

... but I don't play the lotto so I guess I'm shit outta luck.

heh, the problems with dreams are their own definition.

as of 10:00 AM (local time)

I'm okay, just a lot of wind and rain up here. Fanapi will pass through the middle of Taiwan. So I'm sending good thoughts out there way.

DAY 17

Someone you would like to trade places with for a day and why....

If I could... I would trade places with the Chilean miners. There rescue is going to take MONTHS =(... I think I could give up a day so that they cold have a little bit of sunshine, hug their families, have a real meal...


what?! whaaaaat?! you expect a celebridork? why would I ever want to be followed all day by shutter bugs and be hated/loved when people don't even know me. No thanks. celeb life aint for me.


actually.... I thought of one person it'd be fun to be... Betty F*ckin White!!!

6:15 PM

FANAPI

Okay folks... as promised I will be updating here and on Facebook

FANAPI is headed our way. It's going to hit the island sometime tonight and the eye of the storm around 2 am on Sunday. Hualien and Yilan will get hit the worst. The entire island will be covered by the storm.

They are now predicting that it will pass over the middle of Taiwan. This would be ideal since the Typhoon will have to pass over the mountain range and that would weaken the storm a lot. Since it has not hit the island they have yet to confirm the trajectory but they are saying it will most likely pass through the middle. Let's hope so!

Here's an updated picture...

Day 16

Another picture of yourself...

Sometimes things are black and white and life is often lived in shades of grey...
but I, I dream in color.

YO! Kansas!

HEY... Shout out to the readers out in Kansas.... never been but its actually on my list of places to go.... why?.... I think the question should be why NOT?!

thank you, thank you! =D



and again mini shouts... to Denmark & the UK!

faceboooook

Hey.Hi.Hello... you, you and youuu

Before I get to goneandsaidit bizzznasss. I just really wanna quickly talk about something... to be honest folks ... blogging has become my therapy... and I've never hid a post nor will I ever... cuz then what would be the point? So if you're not interested in my blah blah blah skip down to where I say GONE AND SAID IT!

So I know a bunch of folks get redirected here to Goneandsaidit.blogspot.com through either my personal or the Facebook fanpage. If this is how you get here then I'm sure you've noticed that they both kinda disappeared.

They disappeared because I disabled my personal page. They said I'd be able to access the fanpage... but they lied. =( I'm sorry about that.


I really needed a break from Facebook. I kept finding myself lingering and hoping that my friends would be on... but most of the time they weren't...

The funny and not so funny thing is that I apparently don't exist outside of Facebook haha. So it feels kinda terrible; like you've disappeared and no ones come to look for you...

Ya know, Facebook isn't that only way to get a hold of someone. Admittedly I acknowledge and understand that social networking is probably the most convenient and albeit fastest way to get to people. And it was for that reason (and also that all my friends and family are back in the states) why I had such a hard time on deciding to disable my account.

Since Facebook blew up I've seen others reliance on social networks; becoming addicted to the instant connection and the feeling of never being alone. I think people hate feeling alone and that is what empowers Facebook and the precise reason that makes social networks SO addictive BUT I firmly believe that that type of connection will never replace physical connection... however it sure seems that people are giving it a hell of a try.

I admit that I love the convenience and ease of it all too but I simply refuse to be shackled to it. I've heard that to live happily you need at least 5 hugs a day. I don't think hugging your computer would work. I mean you could but it wouldn't hug you back.

annnnnnyyyyways... enough of this... by the time you read this my FB account will be reactivated... I've come to the decision to do so because no matter how I talk at it the fact of the matter is... Facebook is the a way for people to connect... and my pages are the way people I know keep track of me (ahem even though they can come here and read about it.)

AND I'm also reactivating it NOW becauuuuuse... please don't freak out... (Rita, I'm talking to YOU here...) there is a hurricane (better known as a Typhoon to us Taiwanese folks) headed our way. It will hit us this weekend. I'll be posting updates here and on Facebook that is unless the typhoon has knocked out the power.
I'll be okay folks... it is our typhoon season over here.

GONEandSAIDIT

If you are just joining me then WELCOME!... I'm sorry, I know I've been really focused on the 30-Day Challenge and with the Facebook pages disabled, the news for Gone and Said It has been ... ummm gone... hahahahha

lettseeee whats new???

I just finisehd my second week at MTC. Things in my class are moving SUPER fast. I've already learned so much in just 2 weeks... I'd show you but I have yet to learn how to type in Chinese.

I just got back my first test... I got a 98... yay me.

My family is amazing... but that's not really news =)

I was so happy I've gotten to meet and hang out with all my cousins. They're pretty damn awesome.

This Wednesday (9/22) is the Mid Autumn Moon Festival... SOOOO excited hahahaha.....

the WHOLE fam bam is going to head up to Badu to Ama's house to have a big ol dinner. =) yummo I can't wait... ommmm nom nom nom

I'm not worried at all about the typhoon that's headed this way... (so you shouldn't be either Rita) If it takes the path through the middle of Taiwan, Taipei will be A-Okay! if not... then it will hit us full force... but since it hasn't even gotten to the island yet, lets not worry about it, kay?

I don't think there's anything else to report... but I'm forgetful so if I missed something or you wanna know somethin in particular leave a comment... or email me at goneandsaidit@gmail.com ;)


p.s. this post is dedicated to R ~hugs

DAY 15

Put your iPod on shuffle: First 10 songs played...



Cassie- Me & You

Juanes feat. Nelly Furtado- Fotografia

The Avett Brothers- Kick Drum Heart

Gloriana- Lead Me On

Tevin Cambell- Eye to Eye (The Goofy Movie soundtrack)

The Script- Talk You Down

Lea Michele, Cory Montieth, & Jonathan Groff- Total Eclipse of the ♥

Phoenix- 1901

DJ Class Feat. Kanye West- I'm The Shit

James Brown- I Feel Good

If I do say so myself... my shuffle was really on point this time... doesn't always happen...

hope you enjoyed! ♥ ♥ ♥

DAY 14

A picture of you and your family...

Daddy, lil me, and Hubba Baby


Me in my FAVE ducky dress... Moms... and Rita


ummmmm.... this pretty much sums up our ENTIRE relationship... hahahah x a million


my sister from another mister... literally, true story. ♥


Family pictures rarely happen... cuz its usually one of us taking the picture... so this was a treat!


And I do have WAY more family and photos than this... but it would take a whole page and I can just post picture after picture after picture after picture....

DAY 13

A letter to someone who has hurt you recently...

((Warning: The following letter will not sound like the Alicia you know. This letter is full of hurt feelings and if you do not wish to read it, please, by all means don't. There are much more fun and lighthearted posts below. Writing a letter filled with such seething bitterness leaves a bad taste in my mouth even now.
I, for the most part, try to live my life in full light. What do I mean? Well, I don't enjoy things that follow you like shadows; fear, envy, uncertainty, unhappiness, dissatisfaction, disillusion, unproductive-ness, unrest, disapproval... so pretty much any and all un- and dis- words you can think of...
It took me quite a long time to even learn how to be happy. Hell, it took a little bit of dying to find my happy. All those shadowy emotions just take up too much of my time and energy. But listen here folks, I am NOT delusional, I know I am not immune to those emotions or feelings or whatever you want to call them. I know that those shadows must have time in your heart. I simply acknowledge them, figure out why I'm feel that way, accept it, and move on...
Happy is the most simple and complicated emotion ever.))

And so in the letter below I've shed a little light on the dark shadowy parts of my heart.
If and ONLY if you're interested, then I suggest that you read on.

BlackMilk feat. Colin Munroe- Without You
It's a fun song in general... somewhat applicable for this post...
but from here on to the bottom of this post... please take it with a grain of salt.

Dear !@#$%^&*(),

Thank you. Yes, thank you. Thank you for proving my loss of faith in people is not incorrect. Thank you SO MUCH for not being there when I really really needed you. What reason could you possibly give to excuse your absence? Never mind. I don't want one. You think it was easy going through almost losing my Dad. My DAD. THE most important person in my life. Having to go to the ER, going to appointment after appointment after appointment, then having to sit in an oncologists office... and hear that your Dad has a tumor the size of a small melon... waiting for you to call me back was the LAST thing I needed. Do you get it? No? MY DAD has cancer....How about now???
where the fuck were YOU?!

Anyway, if we're really being honest here, the fault is my own. Yeah I said it, go back and reread it. It actually is all my fault cuz I KNOW BETTER haha.. I even know I know better than that.
I know better than to have expectations of any kind when it comes to people who are not me.

So now, once again, I must thank you. You have made me stronger... and only furthered the reliance of my own independence.

Always,
Alicia

P.S. Please stop telling people you'd be there for me if only I'd call...
newsflash::: I shouldn't have to ask a 'friend' to be there for me... wooooops, there goes my expectations running away from me again.

(HAHAHAAHAHA bitter much???... real talk though!? I'm actually very sad to say that this letter applies to more than a couple of people...)

YO! Denmark!

ummm... I don't know if this is true but Blogger says I've got folks reading me in Denmark... so shout out to YOU!

I'm amazed to find that anybody is reading... so a big big
thank you =D


mini shouts to Canada, the UK, Germany, Hungary and S. Korea ;)

DAY 12

How you found out about blogger and why you made one...

My good friend Arthur had suggested blogger... and I'm glad he did.

I started this blog so that my family and friends back home in the states could read about my adventures here in Taiwan.
This way they can keep tabs on what I'm doing... make sure I'm not starving... I'm going to school and doing my homework and all that shizzzz....


I would also like to dedicate this post and ALL the pictures taken (seen here and on facebook.com/goneandsaidit) to Arthur H. Love n miss you buddy! and BTW
Happy early Birthday!

DAY 11

Another picture of you and your friends...

okay, okay, I know I cheated with this... but I had already made it prior and I really do ♥ ALL these folks x a million... for reals and not for fake ;)


because she's special... Adriana gets her own picture.... yeah, try not to be jeals

DAY 10

Songs you listen too when you're...

Bands/Artists
Timbaland
OneRepublic
Dr. Dre
Justin Timberlake
Chris Brown & Kanye West (for the most part)
Songs
Stay Crunchy * Ronald Jenkees
Corona & Lime * Schwayze
Closer, First love * Goapele
Hot Pants * James Brown
有沒有 * 韋禮安
Burnin' Up * Jonas Brothers (and the drum cover by Cobus Potgieter)
Naturally * Selena Gomez
I Put A Spell On You * Screamin' Jay Hawkins
Just The Way You Are * Bruno Mars
In the Mood * Glenn Miller



Songs
I Will Always Love You * Dolly Parton
Who Said It'll Be Alright * Stay Cool
You Can Let Go * Crystal Shawanda
Angel * Sarah McLaughlin
Sober * Kelly Clarkson
Up To The Mountain * Party Griffin
Turn Back the Hands of Time * R. Kelly
I'm Sorry * Brenda Lee
I Dare You to Move * Switchfoot



Songs/Artists
Spoken Word *Adriel Luis
Katt Williams
Moulin Rouge Soundtrack
He's A Tramp * Peggy Lee (Lady & the Tramp movie sndtrk)
Tarzan Boy * Baltimore (Beverly Hills Ninja movie sndtrk)
Ford Mustang * Serge Gainsbourg Brigitte Bardot
Hungarian Rhapsody No. 2 * Franz Lizt



Artists
Sean Paul
Dr. Dre
The Federation
Linkin Park
Songs
Empty Walls * Serj Tankian
Turn It Up * Stereos
Sink Into Me * Taking Back Sunday
The Middle, Sweetness * Jimmy Eat World
Burn It To the Ground * Nickelback
Closer To the Edge * 30 Seconds to Mars


When I'm mad I listen to music to make me feel better... so I'm never mad for long... but if you must have SOMEone... I do listen to a couple till I feel better...
Bands/Artists
TRAPT
Nickelback
Linkin Park
Eminem
Kanye West

DAY 9

Something you're proud of doing in the past few days....

I just finished my first week at MTC...

I've learned all of bo po mo fo

DAY 8

Short term goals for this month and why...

I WAS going to say Make Friends... but I'm done talking about it... feeling bad about it... I'm so over the fact that I've no friends here [yet]... hahhaha x a million
Yesterday I had and a mild epiphany... PING!
I am so incredibly lucky to be here. I need to take advantage of my situation... and so my goal is to throw myself into my studies and do what I set out to do.



(Um for clarification: It's not that I didn't already know how lucky I am to be here but I think after writing the last post... and then letting that marinate for oh about 8 hours, I've realized, hot DAMN I'm lucky!!!)

DAY 7

A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you... ((WARNING: time for Alicia to get deep... and thoughtful... and meaningful.... hahahha oh shiiiet)

For those of you who don't know... I lost my brother in a car accident back in '99. Although it is not a picture of him above, it was he, who showed me the importance of time.

Time is not something you can ever get back; there is no rehearsal for life, no second take, no do overs, you've got one shot.

Often times people (myself included) forget how limited our time is here and unfortunately sometimes our time is cut short. I always have to remind myself to never waste my time. I can't sit by while I have things I need to be doing, people I want to see, or experiences I want to have.
I don't have to save the world everyday or even be that productive... I merely have to appreciate every second of my life for what it is... a gift.

The next time you spend a nice afternoon with someone, thank them and it doesn't have to be out loud (at least this is what I do, quietly in my heart, hoping that they might receive the message).
For the people who know me well... you know how I feel about time. I think that spending any amount of time on someone is the best gift you can give... period.

I thank everyone who has taken the time to keep up with my life... whether it be here on Blogger, Facebook, Skype, phone, even the passing thoughts you might have of me. I sincerely thank you.

DAY 6

Favorite superhero and why...

DO I REALLY NEED TO EXPLAIN??? Come on! How can Batman NOT be my fave... I love routing for any person that's just a regular Joe...

He's not some alien...
He didn't get bit by a super spider...
He doesn't have a power ring...
He doesn't have Greek God parents...

He's an average (albeit wealthy) guy that wants to do some good...

plus... his villainess' are straight vixens!

I guess you could also say that this guy below also applies... ♥


I mildly entertained the idea of posting a picture of Sailor Moon on here... but she wasn't my fave....
Mars and Jupiter were! ;)

DAY 5

A picture of somewhere you've been too...

Stateside


Georgia to see my Sissy ♥


New York to see my sister ♥
This is actually a picture of The Dakota shot from just inside Central Park... the reason I love this hotel so much is because it was in one of my favorite books, Time and Again.

Global


I spent 5 weeks doing community service. Our group worked in a tiny village called Agua Fria but we all lived in Penonome. (Cocle, Panama)


I ♥ Canada... its abso-freakin-lutely GORGEOUS. I've been to both east and west coasts and I love it all. I can't wait to go back!

and seriously.. if you didn't know by NOW... this is my current location, beautiful Taiwan!

DAY 4

Sorry for the TWO-fer... but I didn't even realize I had missed a day =P

A habit you wish you didn't have.

I also tend to be very fidgety... but I think my FB addiction has gotten worse.

DAY 3

hahahah did I miss a day? oh wow... sorry guys...

Day 03- A picture of you and your friends

i ♥ these guys... a LOT

DAY 2

The meaning behind your username.


Well... I moved from the states to Taiwan... so it's more of a literal thing than a meaningful one =P

DAY 1

A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself

• I need coffee in my life... or I WiLL DiE... seriously
• I have more body issues than I let on
• Most times my mouth moves faster than my brain has time to tell it to SHUT UP
• I can eat noodles everyday of my life
• ♥ IMDB
• I would literally die for my family and/or friends
• Go Team Jacob!
• still got my V pass... yup
• Horrified to talk to boys
• Music is my religion
• I'm not a deep person
• I hate it when people call me cute
• I like to dance around my room when no ones home
• Hate crying in front of people... but it turns out that I do it a lot
• I love to read "Young Adult" books hahaha
  

the 30 Day Challenge

Day 01- A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself
Day 02- The meaning behind your username
Day 03- A picture of you and your friends
Day 04- A habit that you wish you didn’t have
Day 05- A picture of somewhere you’ve been to
Day 06- Favorite super hero and why
Day 07- A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you
Day 08- Short term goals for this month and why
Day 09- Something you’re proud of in the past few days
Day 10- Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad
Day 11- Another picture of you and your friends
Day 12- How you found out about blogger and why you made one
Day 13- A letter to someone who has hurt you recently
Day 14- A picture of you and your family
Day 15- Put your iPod on shuffle: First 10 songs that play
Day 16- Another picture of yourself
Day 17- Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why
Day 18- Plans/dreams/goals you have
Day 19- Nicknames you have; why do you have them
Day 20- Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future
Day 21- A picture of something that makes you happy
Day 22- What makes you different from everyone else
Day 23- Something you crave for a lot
Day 24- A letter to your parents
Day 25- What I would find in your bag
Day 26- What you think about your friends
Day 27- Why are you doing this 30 day challenge
Day 28- A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then?
Day 29- In this past month, what have you learned
Day 30- Who are you?

failing life's lessons, quarter life crisis, and school

Ellooo world!

Let me just say that even though the title may look like a precursor to a blog full of "wah's" and "poor me's" lemme just tell you now... it wont be. I mean shit... it happens to everyone... this time, my turn was up. That's just how it is.

So onto the bizzz....

Remember how I told you that I had a couple of job offers? Well what the situation ended up being me asking one (Hess) to wait list me till November and I turned down the other. With Hess I am wait listed but that does not guarantee me a spot in November. I had turned down the job at AGKsion because I did not feel prepare,d as a first time teacher, to teach at a school that does not provide a curriculum or teaching materials.

When I had told my uncle (he's pretty much the Boss) he told me I should have taken the offer, which I had turned down THAT morning.... kinda scared and not wanting to interrupt him he explained it to me like this:

"A single bird in your hand is worth more than a thousand in the forest."

What he meant is... the job was guaranteed and I should have accepted the position regardless if I was ready to take it on or not BECAUSE I don't know if I'll have a job with Hess in November.

After he had said all of this, my only thought was, "Oh shit, did I just fu@k shit up?"

There was NO way I was gonna call AGKsion and ask to be hired back after rejecting their offer. Ummmm especially since the lady coordinator person got HELLA mad when I turned it down.

life lesson grade: a big fat F

Even though taking the job is what I should have done... I don't regret turning down the position.


I was trying to talk to my dad a couple ofnights ago (not about my life crisis haha but ya know... just shootin the shit n whatnot) well anyway I couldn't help but to cry a little... the realization that the situation is the same and its just the location that's changed just sank in all at once.

I love being in Taiwan. I will never regret making this move (does this mean I'm staying here forever??? I don't know... yet) but as stated previously... my situation hasn't changed just my location.

I'm going with the flow but I have absolutely NO DIRECTION.

I don't know what I want to do with my life. I have no career in mind which I think is the main problem. Without a clue of what I want to do, everything that I AM doing in the mean time is just kinda ... well I don't know what I would call it.

I think I know myself pretty well... if I have a direction, if I know what I want, I'll move forward, do what needs to be done so I can accomplish my goal. But for right now I'm in the dark without a light, or a match, or even a cell phone to light the way. I envy those who know what they want to do...

I guess anyone can say that I could be doing ANYTHING I want as long as I put my mind to it... but what exactly does that mean?

What I would want to do... is what I would want to do and I don't know what I want to do... so where exactly does that leave me???

For right now, I'm okay with just going to school... focusing on learning the language. I hope that some light is shed so that I might see a potential path that I could take into my future...


SCHOOL....

ahhh school... its a love/hate relationship... I love to learn... I hate the stress.

I didn't know that my school was going to take up SOOO much time... but it's okay since I'm not working ahahha.I have required class M-F for 2 hrs/day then MTC requires an additional 5 hours of a supplementary class (of my choosing) each week.

As one my supplementary classes I'm looking into taking Taiwanese (for those of you who aren't familiar with my country... Mandarin is the national language... thanks mainland China... but mostly everyone knows Taiwanese too. It sounds NOTHING like Mandarin/Cantonese... where those languages have 4 tones... Taiwanese has 8 I think) My TW Ama pretty much only speaks Taiwanese and I would love to be able to speak to both my TW Ama and my SF Ama.

In a way I think I'm doing this (learning Chinese I mean) in part so that I might finally be able to talk to my grandma. She's been in my life since DAY 1 and I have never been able to have an actual conversation with her. I feel like I've missed out on a very special relationship. I hope to rectify that soon... and on that day... I will most likely cry... hahahha

Well.. I don't know if there's anything else I need to update on... and again if you wanna know something... or if I'm leaving anything out... comment and I'll try and get up on it!

till the next post... ♥

the fear of being forgotten...

After talking to my friend Mabel, I think I've figured something out...

Ya know how I've been all sad face cuz I don't have any friends here? Well I've come to the conclusion that I'm being silly and that being so lonely here is only my temporary state of being and it will soon pass, of that I'm now sure.

I think the underlying problem I'm facing is FEAR (WOO-PAH!!! busted out that psychology shiz on yall, hella ninja, I know)

I'm afraid that too much time will pass with me not present in the lives of the people I love...
I'm afraid I'll be forgotten...
I'm afraid my place in peoples live will be replaced...
I'm afraid that I won't be thought of...

(I know, I know, "no envy and no fear" but its hard to be that way ALL the time...)

I have to laugh at myself because I know better... I know no matter what I say or how I feel about it things will and would have changed eventually with or without me there.

(And I don't want anyone to tell me it'll be the same when I get back, let's be honest here folks.)

As far as I know, I wont be home for at least a year...I will not be there for family get togethers, parties with friends, birthdays, holidays, etc. I mean my goodness my baby cousin will be 2ish before I see him again. He'll be walkin and baby talkin and have no clue who I am.

What I think might be worse is not the good times I'll be missing out on but the bad. For me I know its the people that stuck with me through the worst times in my life that are the closest to me. I want to be there when there's a crisis in the family or lend a shoulder to a friend to cry on when somethings gone horribly wrong in their life. I mean shit, while I'm at it, I would like a hug from a friend if I'm having a craptastic day... (people here aren't really the hugging type).

I know that I really have no control over this, it's just how I feel and please be kind... I don't usually own up to my fears nor do I let the whole world know that I like to feel needed. I should consider myself lucky now that almost everyone can connect via the internet... but the connection isn't the same...

___________________________________________

Now I've actually had a request (thank you properlyinpursuit) to give you guys a little taste of the what the folks here are like in Taiwan.


I know it's been pretty absent from my blog but weirdly enough... writing about people was the hardest part of Anthropology for me. Everything else...
Observing was fine... if at times really boring.
Learning another culture... the most amazing gift ever.
Writing... ugh, bleh, and yuck.

As part of our jobs as Anthropologists is to immerse ourselves then to report a peoples culture. It just seemed wrong to me... scrutinizing and boiling it down into generalizations to make it simple so that it can be fit into a book... bleh... not really feelin it... AND THEN what happens is that its presented as objective science, free from opinion and judgements... and well that's just plain ol dumb to me...

To be an anthropologist you need a focus... that focus creates a skew in the vision in which you see your "subjects"... this skewed vision is then presented to viewers/readers like a one dimensional, vanilla, this-is-it representation of the people you study... and that is why Anthropology is SO frustrating...on one hand, no other field will allow you to totally immerse yourself in a culture and the chance to do that is SO rewarding and then on the other I end up feeling like shit when I have to write about it.

ugh... and that's how I feel about Anthropology... it's a love/hate relationship

_______________________

OK so most of the things I'm talking about are going to be pretty superficial... mostly outward appearance and public mannerism... I'll give you what I can. =]

• Fashion reigns supreme here for the young folks.
  I have yet to figure out exactly how people put their fits together... I have noticed that its more or less focused on trends; like the shoes: gladiator sandals, or the accessories: fake glasses and necklaces with big blingy pendants, and for clothes: rompers and one pieces AND something similar to parachute pants. It seems like as long as you have all of those in your outfit AT THE SAME TIME- You've got it goin on!
  
  (PERSONAL OPINION::: everyone looks like they got dressed in the dark)
  
  :::(real life)EXAMPLE:::
  

  • camo cut off shorts
  • white and pink flannel button down
  • yellow and gray striped fitted tissue tee
  • white and black houndstooth bra
  • black, whit, red, and gray Azumo trainers

  (yuck, bleh and ugghhhhhhh)
  
  
  
• You ever hear dress your age? Um. Yeah, doesn't apply here.
  Well I guess in their defense people just don't seem to age here.
  
• Guys have murses/messenger bags here and they are also very comfortable holding their girlfriends purses here and/or their dog in those little carrying cases
  
• Hair and accessories are important to both GIRLS and BOYS (equally so if I might add.)
• Most girls sport colored contacts and false eyelashes.
• I would say more than half dye or perm their hair (They have this interesting type of CRIMP perm/// but they only do the first 3-4 inches of hair starting at the root... this is to give the impression of volume without having to backcomb)
• Paleness of skin and being thin are highly praised. Both are used as standards of beauty.
  (PERSONAL OPINION::: everyone seems to be on a diet and quietly refuses to go the gym... this is not all folk there are quite a few who are gym addicts too.)
  
• CLEAVAGE is a BIG BIG NO NO... but show as much leg as you want.
  
  Yupppp.... Saw a lady with a dress so short I should see her underbutt cleavage. No one even batted an eye at her. I had a dress on that showed off the girls and my Auntie told me I was gonna get raped... true story.
  So fellas, if ya have a thing for stems... come on over!
• (I know a lot of people are gonna be like GROSS but please keep in mind I'm only pointing out the obvious things you'd first notice if you came here from the U.S.)
  
  In public it is perfectly acceptable to do the following:
  
  • burp/fart
  • pick your nose
  • dig in your ear
  • take your shoes off in public
  • cough/sneeze without covering your mouth
  • they don't say anything when you sneeze
  • most folks do not shake hands as a greeting (A polite bow is acceptable and its equivalent)
  • when you address someone address the oldest first (although if you greet your acquaintance first that is also acceptable)
  • always accept business cards with both hand (and NEVER write on it)
  • do NOT touch/pat a child on their head... its bad juju
    
    
    
    
• I cannot stress this enough... FAMILY IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TO TAIWANESE PEOPLE... they are very few, if anything, people would put ahead of their family. You must honor, respect, obey, and be loyal to your parents.
  
• Taiwanese folks are the most kind and generous people you'll ever meet! They'll go out of their way to help you out.... I had a lady share her umbrella with me during a sudden downpour and she walked me to the door of the building. That girl was a SWEETie pie...
  Warning... (kinda funny too) those same people will not hesitate to push you or cut in line in front of you to get on a bus, train, or to pay for lunch... =D hahah don't make sense huh? yeah, I'm still working on figuring it out.

Well folks... as soon as I start talking to people I'll let you know whats up.... As far as why I don't think anyone HAS talked to me... I think it's a combination of fear and shyness.

Most young people have taken English classes since Jr. High school but aren't confident enough to talk to English speakers. Some English speakers forget to slow down so the kids can decipher the words. But when they forget to slow down it makes them all flustered and unwilling to talk.
The older people definitely have very little exposure to any sort of environment where they would use or learn English.

A lot of the food vendors are the on the older side. When I first moved into my place I'm sure they thought I was just another foreigner that was passing through or probably one that got lost. Eventually they got used to seeing me; smiling and even waving when I would leave or come home and trying to help a sistah out when shes trying to eat...

As far as my learning Chinese??? I think the words are all settling themselves in my brain... I understand more and more everyday... but with no one to practice with, speaking is definitely going to be my hardest challenge (oh and I will not even talk about being literate... oh boy!)

Until next time... 加油!!!

bajeeebus yall...

Damn I'm hella glad no one else attended that pity party for me on the last entry... I wont delete it though.

I really don't have it so bad... I'm just not used to being out of my element. Even though I was only working at a restaurant back home I didn't feel so listless. Here, I feel kinda like plankton. Yup plankton... look it up... it basically means floater/drifter. Truthfully, I've never not had a direction. That was up until graduation... Maybe its not Taiwan that's making me feel this way. Maybe I've felt this way and Taiwan just shook me awake.

The suckosity that is our recession in the states have left new graduates such as myself with very little hope of, well that's just it... it's left us with very little hope...So what did I do? hahahahah I bought a one way ticket to Taiwan... and of all the things I've learned the most important is that with or without you life goes on... so you better get a move on.

Its easy to forget that I'm living my adventure when I'm so stressed out but no more... I declare that the end.

I'm looking forward to my interview tomorrow and I'm pretty sure I still have to head up to Badu for dinner with Ama. It's supposedly Chinese Valentine's day??? Idk I'm not with any body so my uncle told me to go eat with Ama ahahahhaha.

I sent out a bunch of emails with my resume the past couple of days so hopefully now that the weekend is over I might get some responses.

hmmm anything else??? have I told you about the 7-Eleven's here??? OH EM GEE ahahahah you can LIVE (and I do mean that literally) out of a 7... You can pay your phone bill or parking tickets or EVEN YOUR TAXES at 7-Eleven! They have REAL food and they'll heat it up for you n everything... Iono if everyone knows or like Sarsaparilla but folks love it here and they even have it in Slush-e form... yeah... yummmo.

Everyone in my neighborhood is getting used to seeing me around. The vendors down the street have been more willing to help me out. I found this delicious noodle house (it's SUPPOSE to be pho but yeah, NO) its still good... it reminds me of my fave noodle soup at Champa Garden (mmm hmmm Arthur you know what I'm talking bout). The folks who work at Coco (its like Tap Ex/Quickly) already know what I like. hahaha oh boy.

[Ummm completely unrelated to Goneandsaidit biznassss- Rita! pay attention ok sister?! I was thinking of doing some basic hair/makeup/product tutorials via YouTube... This way you can rewind and watch how I do my face n whatnot and I wont get all frustrated trying to teach ya. hahahhahah jk jk no but seriously... its just a thought... if you want me to do it just email me kthx]


I feel like I haven't really been reporting on things like I should but I don't really know what any of you would like for me to talk about... so comment. AND DON'T FORGET pictures and videos and random updates will be on facebook.com/goneandsaidit

i think so... or maybe thats it

Not to get on a whole psychology trip... but I think I'm suppressing all my stress...


And how would I know that?

• Well the last time my hair fell out at THIS rate... I was taking 22 units/qtr, working 17 hrs, commuting for 2, and oh yeah Dad was in the hospital...
  
  
• I've had both dreams and nightmares EVERY night... have yet to have a restful nights sleep
  
  
• um not to mention that often times takes it around 2 hours to even fall asleep...
  
  and the worst of it all???
  
  
• I don't even really have a desire to leave my room... I've spent a couple of days where I didn't even leave my house... OK so part of THAT is because of the heat and me being allergic to it and all (if you don't believe that I'm allergic to the heat... go ask my dermatologist.)
  

Seriously guys... I could be mildly going nuts over here... maybe that's it. And don't tell me that I'm homesick... I've never been homesick in MY LiFE... no seriously... I haven't.

Maybe its just me not used to being lonely. I've never had a problem calling someone up and making plans to do something and here? I'm living in Lonerville population ME... and we all know I don't normally have a problem making friends... but people here are literally scared to talk to me. So this is new territory for me.. and maybe that's it.


wooo sahhhh.... and moving on...



SO kinda late but I GOT INTO MTC! yay me =) Registration is at the end of this month, orientation is Sept. 3 and classes start on the 6th. I'm really excited about school... and everyone says that I'm sure to make friends there but my apprehension about making friends at MTC is that some of these kids are gonna be here for a year or less. =/

I'm kinda banking on MTC to really get me started with my Chinese... I think I keep retarding my learning by listening to American music every second of my life... but ya know the music scene here aint all that hot... (opinion yall... don't get all butt hurt)...

well I partially take that back, my cousins band Staycool (www.staycoolmusic.com) is pretty awesome... they've got a indie folk pop kinda feel...easy listening... its like your favorite sweater on cold rainy day
(which btw does not exist here... its hot when it rains and its hot when it doesn't... good thing about it??? wet feet aint so bad hahahaha)


anywho... I digress... back to the matter at hand... I guess there is no "matter" but whatev

Since I've been hiding out in my room that means I've been taking a break from exploring the city. I do know my basics though... I know how to get to Auntie Amy's/Uncle Vincent's (same bus stop), I know how to get to Badu (Ama's house) and Keelung, I know how to get to my school, I know how to get to Taipei 101 and the Eslite bookstore, I know how to get to Ikea, I know how to get to my banks... and pretty much anywhere near an MRT (subway/metro) station.

Tomorrow I will try to finish sending off my resumes to jobs and then get my patootie out of the house... maybe a nice MRT ride up to Danshui, maybe take a walk over to the library, or head over to Ximen (it's suppose to be the fashion district over here)...

but first I'd have to go to sleep... its already a quarter to 2 and I'm not even tired ... le sigh

good morning......

im sorry im sorry i sorry.... sad face... lip pout

I know... I suck... Hahah Sometimes I wonder if anyone out there is really reading my blog... and then I get random reminder from someone that I'm slacking on my blogosity...

I apologize once again for the lengthy lapse in time between this blog and the last... soooo I will now dedicate this blog to Ducky who's been so kind as to remind me of my blogging duties
(p.s. Ducky... check the public fanpage facebook.com/goneandsaidit for pictures and whatnot)

Where did I leave off?! OH yes... school and teaching, oh joy. =]

So I've officially register for the Mandarin Training Center (MTC) but I'm still waiting to hear back from them. That means that I'm not technically accepted yet... yup waiting sucks.

If I get accepted school will start the first of September. If I feel like I'm learning a lot then I just might continue with school. (I think they even have some masters programs like translating or teaching Mandarin... you never know, I'm keeping my options and my eyes open for potential jobs/careers)

As far as jobs go I'm putting my resume out there and see what's biting. My moms been very understanding. She says not to worry, finding a job takes time and if I don't get a job right away its okay. I COULDN'T HAVE DONE ANY OF THIS WITHOUT HER, THANKS MOM! She thinks I might be better prepared for a job once I've gone through a quarter at MTC.
The one hiccup with holding off on getting a job is my Board of Directors. HAHA my cousins have already bet that I'd be making at least 60,000 NT in a couple months of working.

OH have I mentioned my complete LACK of breakdown when my mom and sister left? NOPE? Well let me tell you.... there were no tears when I saw them off. I totally thought I was going to ball my peepers out on the walk back to my place. I felt okay. I knew that I was as prepared as I could be, I have wonderful people here to help me out and I had and overwhelming sense that everything would be alright.


Yeah I didn't even cry until I got Melanie Knight on the phone two days later. She had the BEST reaction when i got her on the phone. OH MY GOD ITS ALICIA KEYS ON THE PHONE, ITS ALICIA KEEEEEEEYS, do you NOT UNDERSTAND??? ITS ALICIA KEEEEYYSSSSS... is what finally brought tears to my eyes... I know she misses me and I cried because I miss her too.

I also talked to Cathy for like AN HOUR... and even though I've been gone for a little over a month, I'm an ocean away AND 13 hours ahead of California, talking to Cathy is like I've never left... shes the light of my life... hahhahaah my little piece of Alameda.

Um Grace I'm gonna need you to get your shit together woman... pick up your phone >:I

With Skype I was also able to get my family on video chat... the internet connection was kinda crap but it was good to see everyone... pixelated or not. hahah It probably didn't help that EVERYONE was talking at once.

I miss EVERYONE... I've been attempting to get people on the phone one by by so please be patient... and everyone should get SKYPE. I have a subscription to call landlines and cell phones but Skype to Skype is free. And we all know that free is goooood ;) espcially when you're unemployed hahahahhaha x a million.

I want everyone to know that I'm okay. I'm still getting a handle on things out here.I'm enjoying things here immensely. I hope that everyone is doing well. I miss and love you ALL.

♥ ♥ ♥