scratch that

jussssssssssssssssssssssssssssst kidding ;)


this morning somewhere between 0430-0500 right before I finally fell asleep, I had an epiphany.


the reason my Chinese class this quarter is totally NOT fun and I'm not learning anything is because my teacher's teaching style and my learning style are not the same... she expects us to read it out of the book, learn and memorize it... when I need to be told and shown what to do... 


duh forehead/palm, you'd think I would have noticed that sooner... I probably just got too caught up in my homesick to realize it.




So talking to my mom she reassured me that if I ever wanted to leave Taiwan and come home no one would judge or blame me. Hearing that made me cry because I know she meant it.


The thing is, even through all of my homesickness I never once considered hopping on a plane and going home. So I guess I can take that as some sort of sign. 


I know I still want to study Chinese. 
I know I love my family (despite the fact we don't share a common language)


I also know a couple other things... I need to find work, I need to make friends outside of school, I need to finish at least one year at 師大- MTC




maybe the pressure of my 3 year estimate subliminally brain ninja'd me into feeling like I was trapped, but I know I'm not, not really.


I can leave at anytime if I choose to.
I will submit my paperwork for my dual citizenship in August.
(My one year residency will be up on my birthday 7/27/11)
Time is moving faster than I can account for and August will be here before I know it.
My mom will be visiting me either in April or in the summer.


If time, money, school, (hopefully) and work will allow, I'd love to visit home.


I love and miss everyone at home. I hope my past couple of months didn't freak anyone out, please don't worry about me, I'm a tough cookie, promise.


thanks for reading ♥