probably sticking my foot in my mouth with this one... i don't care... anymore

Ok so obviously it is not the tomorrow after the last post and I'm not gonna ask for props just because a month hasn’t past between this and the last post ;) hahahaha

First let me tell yall bout the damn bird… his name is no longer Both

HE HAS BEEN RENAMED… and that name IS

dot dot dot

POOPER

Waaaaaaaaaaaaahahhahahhahahahha

no seriously it is.

my sister says there’s so many treats in the house the bird would probably die from old age before he runs out of snackies

spoiled

on to other shizzzzz….


Taiwan fashion


seriously, I’m not even apologetic about it anymore… because I just don’t understand how people dress here… it’s like everyone got dressed in the dark… layers upon layers of mismatched clothes... floral patterns with stripes… polka dots with screen tees… hooker shoes and jersey fabric… lace leggings and sequins tops…

You really think I’m kidding… I’ll show you.

you can't see it but she rockin twisties in her hair

obviously it's to go with her moon shoes

so she can fit in with the outter space crew 

middle of winter... in spring time shoes

ruffle mini

shiny leggings

and AN EFFIN VALOUR ZIP UP

wuhhh thuhhh fuuuhhhh

there are just NO words for this fuckery

sorry about the cam quality

I snapped the pic with my phone

he's totally wearing Ugg's

patterned leggins

ON A GUY

oh the HUMANITY

Yeah, you seeee?!?!

Anywho.. I can’t figure it out, so I guess there’s not much else to say bout it…


Maybe I’m just annoyed because it’s hard enough to find clothes that fit and when I do, it’s usually all bedazzled and covered with frills or lace and English that doesn’t make any kind of sense, or even if it did make sense it’s usually spelled wrong. I don’t know, blech. Has NO one ever heard of spellcheck?!?!


Speaking of clothes… reminds me of something I thought about the size issue thing…


Maybe Taiwanese folks do the one size thing to avoid sizes. Avoid anything to give a number to a size hoping that it wouldn’t be larger than a 2, It's really kinda ridiculous.


Every time I see a thick girl wearing something cute I want to ask her where she goes to shop but I don't want her to get all offended. Oh well...


I know I’ve been all complainey and whiney about clothing sizes and feelin all fat and all that stupid shit I never used to worry about when I was home but a light bulb went off in my head… ligggggggggggggggggght bulb


I don’t think anybody here feel themselves to be that pretty… they’re all too busy with an obsession over their looks…


wearing fake eyelashes


colored contacts


dying or perming their hair

everyone here is on a constant diet, calling themselves fat (which bugs the fuh outta me especially when I see girls call themselves fat when they obvioulsy need to eat several sandwiches and a slice of pizza… and maybe an extra large sundae for dessert…)

or bleaching their skin, spending all their time outdoors hiding under an umbrella

hating the shape of their eyes so they wear stickers to create a double lid or even goin as far as to have cosmetic surgery to "fix" this so called problem. What you can't see or something?!?!


trying anything to not look like how they were born to grow up…


you’d figure we can all blame it on a world obsessed with western culture… the media, comsmetic companies, so on and so forth…


I was born with dark hair and dark eyes… I know everyone jokes that I look brown and I have no problem with that, I love it… but I know that my black hair and brown eyes come from my Taiwanese mother, from her parents, and theirs and theirs and theirs…


Although recently my hair hasn’t been playing nice at all since it’s now summer and it's averaging 100 degrees a day and don't get me started on 97% humidity cuz it's just ruuuuuuude… got me lookin like a poodle that’s been thrown in the dryer….


Realization: when sitting on the bus I have a tendency to sit on the left (if I can, right behind the driver), Psych analysis tells me I miss drivin too much. (professional opinion given by Dr. Me) gaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh I miss my truck, the sheep skin seat covers, my pina colada vent scent sticks, 17" Broadview mirror, microfiber dust mitt in the glove... I miss my monster... le sigh






Anyways back to the matter at hand…
Peoples obsessions with their looks is not a new thing… i know that


Maybe I’m just baffled by the thought that it's not the fact that they're obsessed about improving their own looks by enhancing their current features but by changing them all together… and I know before you get your scrunchy all in a twist… I know it’s not just Asian folks who change their looks to emulate white folks… I’ve just never seen it on such a massive scale.


Maybe I’m just way too into people accepting themselves and others when I know it’s as unrealistic as Fox news telling the truth… I know I’m being highly critical towards people who probably couldn’t care less and are just as baffled by my anger towards something they don’t think is a big deal…


This all just makes me wonder what kinda of home did everyone grow up in…. you think that’s a stretch? Not really…


Who are these parents who are not tellin their kids EVERY DAY OF THEIR LIVES that they are beautiful just the way they are… that they would be just as loved with our without a little bit of “extra” weight… whatever the shape or their eyes or hair color, their home would always be their home… and why should appearance change that in the first place


(thought… maybe that’s why all girls love songs like Bruno Mars’ Just the Way You Are, Katy Perry’s Firework, and even Ke$ha’s We Are Who We Are… because they’ve never been told that being who you are is pretty damn kick ass… hmmmm something to ponder upon)




Friends…


Bleh, bitter taste in my mouth… bleh… bleh bleh…


If you read the last post then you can kinda get a feelin of how I’m feelin… heh… ehhhh kinda


Like, I know I’m the one that left the country but it’s not like I don’t try and keep people updated here and on Facebook… and there’s only so many times I can leave voicemails before it starts to feel like I’m better friends with the answering machine than the person I’m trying to reach. Not just that... but people who said they’d keep in contact don’t, people who said they’d get SKYPE didn’t, and I know for a fact some don’t even bother to read the blog…


So you can’t be mad if I don’t tell you when I come home… you just can’t… and if you do get mad… I will punch you in your left tit… or if you can give me a reason as to why I should... I'd certainly like to hear it... must be interesting






There are several people who I must thank because for one reason or another we started talkin more (or just started talkin again) after I moved here…


Chris L. & Jonathan S. (you both are the bomb dot com and I love yall to death)
My brothers Robbie and Richard L.
My katana wielding soon to be shoppin buddy Mr. Bedrock himself, Richard C.




Le sigh


On the brighter side of friendship… literally it’s like I’m in the middle of a RAINBOW… I’ve made a gang of gay friends and I’m so happy…I’m completely surrounded! and oh so happy wahhahahahahahha I’ve missed my gays….


Speaking to one of my new friends who’s Taiwanese and gay (but that's not so important to me since no matter who he love's he's still pretty rad), he’s made me realize just how repressed slash oppressed the LGTBQ community is here in Taiwan… my friend constantly tells me that Taiwan is still very traditional…. As if that is to explain everything…


Here’s some things I’ve learned
For the most part gay men feel better being ‘out’ in public… but will go to great lengths to hide it from their family…


‘Taiwanese lesbians, don’t give a shit. In reality they have bigger balls than Taiwanese gay men.’ (comment by a non-TW gay man)


I heard (please note the stresssssssssssss on the HEARD part) I HEARD that dating a gay TW man is pretty much like dating a woman... THAT made me laugh… and of course it’s not applicable to ALL TW gay men but I just thought it was funny…


Ehhhhhhhhhh well… so it’s not like I’m studying them or anything, I’m just happy that I’ve made more friends… it doesn’t even matter if they’re gay, straight, purple, or inside out… ok, I don’t know about the inside out part… I mean I guess I could handle it but I’d always have the urge to yell “HOLD YOURSELF TOGETHER MAN!” hahahahah
It takes lots of skill to be this awkward… don’t hate… =)


Anywhoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Haha boyfriends and husbands…. Not really anything new to that… I still don’t have either hahaha although after the wedding everyone kept asking me when I was getting married… I said OH WOAH hello THERE… last month yall wanted me to get a boyfriend… and now you’re asking me when the date is? All I could do was laugh… I LOVE my TW family more than 珍珠奶茶… yup, that’s a LOT of love


Oh speaking of the wedding…

It was at the Grand Palace hotel in Taipei

very fancy shmancy

(above: the first floor lobby below: the banquet hall)

The bride was GORGEOUS… and the grooms was swagtastically handsome.

Here look for yourself!

I must say… I cleaned up pretty nicely myself…

Before the wedding my other cousin warned me it’s definitely NOT like American weddings were you eat and dance the night away, followed by sending the newly weds off into the sunset so they can go on their honeymoon…

Taiwan weddings go something like this…

PRESENTING THE BRIDE…

GROOM ASKS FATHER FOR HER HAND…

THE BRIDE AND GROOM MAKE A SMALL SPEECH…

THEN THE PARENTS JOIN IN ON THE SPEECH…

EAT

SPEECH

EAT

SPEECH

EAT

SPEECH

EAT

SPEECH

EAT

SPEECH

EAT

SPEECH

GO HOME

NOOOOOPPPPPPPPE NOT MY COUSIN!!!!

MY ROCKSTAR OF A COUSIN HAD HIS FRIENDS PLAY/PERFORM INSTEAD OF ALL THOSE SPEECHES… my other cousin said it was way better because normally people just eat through the speeches anyway. Hahahahha

It was like a music festival… I don’t know how any other wedding could top it… =) 
enjoy some pictures!

(ps Mommy or Lillian or Kenny the next time you see阿嬷 你們可不可以給她看看。 Thanks, I think she’d like seeing them)


PS... HAPPY PRIDE PARADE!
aint nothing wrong with love
♥ ♥ ♥
go hug a gay today!
hahahahahahahhaahha

BiTTER

i don't even need to use both hands to count how many times i've talked to some of my friends... (and i mean heard my voice... or seen my face)

and if that number is less than my 10 fingers... you can pretty much bet i won't wanna tell you when i'm coming home...

i know its not that my friends don't care... but they're too lazy to give a shit...

seriously... how long does it take to download SKYPE?

besides my family and my best friend... why should i bother making time for people who don't have a minute to give to me... i'm not a fair weather friend... i just figured, whatever...

gan4

苦

bestest...

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DREAM EVER

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I WAS IN THE CAR WITH MY FAMILY AND I WAS DRIVING...

(that's pretty much a given... true life, true story)

AND WE WERE ARGUING...

YUP THAT'S PRETTY MUCH THE WHOLE DREAM...

IT'S PRETTY MUCH TRUE TO REAL LIFE TOO... 

I GUESS THAT'S WHY I WAS HAPPY WHEN I WOKE UP

BECAUSE EVEN WHEN I DREAM

I'D RATHER BE ARGUING WITH MY FAMILY OVER SOMETHING AS STUPID

AS MAKING A LEFT AT THE FLYING MONKEY

OR A RIGHT AT THE SINGING FISH

a year... a year... a year... a year... a year... a year... is up

here’s a doozy for you… I want to come home… I’m not… but I want to… I won’t… but I want to…


I know yall prolly thinkin ‘ahhhhhh good gawd, she’s done gone crazy’
Yeeeea, prolly… it’s a mental Rubik’s cube up there…


Let me just tell you that my mind looked something like Wonka’s Chocolate Factory for the past week… little orange men running around… golden egg laying geese… fat kids getting stuck in a chocolate transport tube (makes for GREAT chocolate milk though)… a man that resembles the mad hatter has also appeared to stir every pot of emotions and nougatty junk I got…


Like a Chuck Norris kick to the soul I was completely floored by a serious case of homesickness…. like no joke… I haven’t left my room in 4 days…
did I cry… yes…
was it a sad sight to see… definitely…
completely pathetic... absolutely…


I don’t even know what brought it on but the next thing I know… I’m inexplicably angry at my friends… picking at the smallest thing… attitudes bigger than those ridiculous Kentucky derby hats…


Just like the shiny light bulb going off… (well I suppose it’d be a pretty dim light bulb seeing as how long it took me to figure this one out)


In 10 days it will mark exactly one year from when I left home…
a year since I’ve last hugged my dad
a year since I’ve driven Monster
a year since I’ve eaten my favorite foods, or driven down to Santa Cruz, or chill on the couch with my friends, work with all my favorites at Sushi House…
a year since I’ve done all those small things that amount to so much… all the things that make me oh so happy…


In the past year, I’ve missed so much… my uncle had his first child… my cousin got hitched… my cousins wife is now expecting their second child… a little baby girl… my best friend had her baby… a beautiful baby boy… and my sister moved home… it seems like the moment I bowed out… all these new players stepped in and all I want is a turn around the floor with them…
I guess moving on to less depressing things…


A new quarter


Boy this new stuff is kicking my ass… last quarter having already gone through it once made it a little easier for my nonporous brain to absorb the information… but by all means it wasn’t a cake walk… I mean if it was... you’d at least get a cake out of it… and some Chinese


Getting this new stuff in my brain is like trying to start a car after it’s sat in the garage unused for 5 years… I feel all my gears catching and it’s just… I’m just sput… sput… sputtering…


I’ll make it… I always will… it’s just I feel weighed down a little… a lot


All my classmates are pretty awesome… we’ve got 3 girls from Indonesia… my friend from Palau, a Canadian, a Japanese fella, a girl from Vietnam… and a lady from Mongolia… (it makes me miss my MGL girls back at Sushi House) then of course ME =D
It’s a pretty fun class… I feel like I laugh a lot… and the teacher seems on top of us about speaking more… and dropping the English once class starts… and that’s definitely a good thing for me. I’m back to the 10-12 slot... although it would still be tough for me to get to my uncle before 1 it’s still an improvement if I wanted to try and catch them for lunch.




Le Siggggggggggggggh…. Happy Father’s Day… 


I had to wait until the 20th so it would be the 19th back in California so I could wish my daddy a Happy Father’s Day…


I just got done talkin to my dad… yes I cried… feel free to judge… I don’t really care… I’m homesick… I miss my daddy… I hurt


But it’s always the words from Dad that calm my heart a little so it’s not as spastic… bippity piddy boppity pidder paddy bib bop padder… just like that.. He reminded me that being here is for the benefit of me… that in my life I should and always will be #1… and even though I’m sacrificing time with my family back in California (he didn’t say time exactly… just that I was sacrificing things…) but my family understands and they’ll be there when I get home… and assures me that he misses me.


In a lot of ways it made me feel better and worse… better knowing that the place I have in my family’s heart is unchanged, sad to know that I’ve sacrificed any time I could’ve spent with my family…


As you all know how I feel about time… it’s nothing I want to waste.


After getting off the phone with my dad… I phone my best friend to see if I could get a hold of her husband to wish him a very Happy First Father’s Day. (and yes I cried during this phone call too… feel free to judge… I’ve been a cry baby, I know it…) He was already at work by the time she woke up so she didn’t even get to wish him a Father’s Day yet… well anywho... my bestie is fan-frikkin-tabulous… she says something that just triggers a mini-piphany


on to my mini-piphany… (I give you permission to use my word)… 


maybe I’m bein all grumpy pants because I feel I haven’t accomplished anything here yet…
Maybe that’s the reason I feel like I can’t go home yet
Maybe that’s the reason I feel like I’ve been wasting my time here (and dying to be with my family at home)
Maybe that’s the reason I’ve got tude bigger than a Texan’s church hair


It all boils down to my worth not being proven of any value here in Taiwan… and I’m realizing is pretty damaging to the spirit, confidence, and all that psych junk…


Anyway…. Its 2 in the AM and I’ve got class in 8 hours… I wanted to get SOMETHING up… but I’m not done yet… I’ll just write an addition tomorrow…


I want to dedicated this post first and foremost to my dad for Father’s Day
Then my bestie… Adriana, her husband Carlos, and my little bean Jayden
And lastly Willy Wonka… and if you don’t get that the last one is a joke… remind me to thump you on the forehead when I get home…


Stay tuned folks… tomorrow I will be talkin… TW fashion… the nitty gritty on friends… boyfriends slash husbands?!?! The birds got a new name… and OH yeah, I still need to tell yall bout the wedddddding… plus ill try n get some pictures up =D


good night, good morning, good afternoon ily ♥

at this very moment...

I'm trying to find my words

get them down on paper

and then out to you

but in the mean time...

(with English subs for your convenience)

\m/(>_<")

yeah