oh, what to do...

Ya know when you’re dreamin and you’re fallin then right before you hit the ground you wake up with a start… you take the first deep breath… and realize it was just a dream, you’re ok, you just had a dream and everything is alright…

yeah… I feel like that second before I can take a breath some invisible emotion ninjas a judo chop straight to the neck and I just can’t breath

Went to go pick up the letter of clearance from the office on Monday and I went to the Immigration office yesterday…

ROUND 2 *DING *DING

You guys don’t even know… I saw the lady there from last time… the one who made me cry… no joke my heart sank… then started to quicken… I even started perspiring.

I saw there was another guy working and was hoping and praying to all things shiny and pretty that he’d be the one to help me…

The number was on 185 and I was holding ticket number 190 and watching her deal with other people she seemed to be in a better mood… no more pleasant than last time… but at least she wasn’t yelling.

The guy was on 189 and I was thinkin YUUUUSSSSSSSSSSSSS He’ll be able to help me… the lady he was with got up (I exhale a sigh of relief) took two steps towards the door, AND THEN she turned around, sat down and started talking to him again…

I felt like she took my ice cream cone and threw it into the street… my heart started pounding because the woman clicked her buzzer and she had my number flashing above her desk.

I sat down with all the paper work… stupid enough to think that I had everything…

She filed through the papers then suddenly looked up at me (speaking in Chinese) said I was missing something, some information that has to do with my mother… in my head I’m reaching across the desk to slap her across the face.

I ask what it is, she continues to speak in Chinese, I tell her IN CHINESE I don’t understand, then she writes it down for me… AS IF THAT HELPS… SERIOUSLY!?!? IF I DIDN’T UNDERTSAND IT SPOKEN WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I UNDERSTAND IT IF IT’S WRITTEN YOU DUMB UGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I didn’t bother with her... I grab my things and get out… fish around for my phone and I call my Uncle Henry but I can barely get out 2 sentences before I start crying, I couldn’t help it.

Later that day I met up with my girls to go to the gym… it was a good thing that I could go, blow off some steam, sweat out the disappointment and laugh it off with my friends..

(I’ll explain the gym goin a lil laters…)

Anyway I was talking to my friend/trainer about what had happened and she said it is very common for people who work at the immigration office to make the immigration process as hard and painful as possible on people. Apparently it what brings them pleasure in life. She said it happens especially to non-Chinese speakers who go to the immigration office alone.

After talkin to my uncle and having him reassure me that next time someone will be with me and talkin to my friend it made me feel a bit better.

... so lemme 'splain the gyyymmmnesss and school...

Ahhh, my old enemy… school. I can honestly say that I’m happy not being in school. Not that I don’t love learning and I actually enjoy learning Chinese I just think right now it’s not very helpful… why? I mean yes, I learn everything that’s assigned and words and grammar but I’m not able to use it outside of the class. And without using it, it well, becomes useless. Here’s the sitch, I don’t see my family enough to practice it with them, all my friends speak English and that pretty much it…

I have a couple of Taiwanese friends but they’re all busy and most of the time when I see them, they want to practice their English so, what is a girl to do? I guess I could just keep going to school but that’s money…

Now that I’m not in school, I forced a bit more to speak and understand things outside of the confines of the textbooks… and I must say I’m happy and I’m sad…

I’m happy to realize that I understand what’s being said to me but I’m sad I can’t say anything in response… my go to responses here are

嗯

(sound of assent)

是[的]

(yes,[depending on how formal])

知道

(I know/understand)

我明白

(I understand)

OK啦

(OK/sure)

People have kinda stopped expecting me to speak Chinese. My family now only asks me yes or no questions or if they ask a question that requires a bit of an explanation and I take too long to answer they’ll answer it for me or proffer a choice of answers.

People don’t require me to speak… so speaking is definitely my weak point… but I can understand a good amount of what is said to me… it’s a bit frustrating but I’m still happy that I can understand.

So what am I doin now that I’m not in school?! Well take the two hours I would've spent in class and apply that to the gym… yup I’ve become a gym rat… and lemme tell you, when people say you get addicted to the gym… yeeeeahhhhno not me… I hate it… hahahah

I’m learnin to like it but I still hate goin, I hate being on a treadmill runnin nowhere, I hate sweating, and I hate all the skinny people at the gym…

The plan was to go to the gym between now and the time I come home… hopefully lose some weight so I can come home and enjoy all the food I’ve missed guilt free…

hahahhaha kinda like losing the weight so when I gain it back I won’t feel too bad hahahahha

I kinda wanted the weight loss to be a bit of a surprise but we all know I can’t keep my mouth shut hahahah…

So I’m in the gym usually for 2 hours a day…

(I think I’m getting into my 3^rd week) so I started with 4 days straight (seriously thought I was goin to die, and took the day of the Mid-Autumn festival off) then I went for another 4 days straight then took off a day, then i went for 5... and i'm at 5 again..and when I’m feeling up to it maybe a 6^th. The goal is to get to a point when I have the stamina to go 6 days a week. It’s getting there, slowly but it's getting there.


THE WORKOUT :]

I’m on the treadmill for half n hour (speed walkin to warm up, then runnin for 20 minutes then back to walkin to cool down)

Then I go to the elliptical machine and I just try to keep my heart rate up for half an hour.

Then I hit up the weight machines for 40 minutes or so, mostly focusing on the flabby part of my arms, jiggly thighs and strengthening my back and stomach (that’s mostly for the support of my back so I hopefully will never have to have back surgery again…)

and that’s pretty much it.

I have a lovely group of friends who come with me to the gym… 2 girls and a guy… usually at least one is with me but don’t fret my pets, I still go even if I go by myself.

A trainer that belongs to the gym has taken an interest in our little foreign group and helps us with advice and how to properly work the weight machines.

She actually told me to flip my routine around… weights first then cardio...

So I’m on the flip routine… but what I did was flipped it and then halved it… ahahha confused? It’s like this now… half hour weights… half hour cardio… 20 minutes of weights… half hour of cardio… 10 minutes of stretching… ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

NEWSFLASH: Just talked it out with my cousin… I will go to the office tomorrow figure out what I need, and then head to the immigration office. After I go I will hopefully be able to write a post about coming home? Not coming home? Le sigh… I don’t even know… right now I feel like because someone is telling me that I can’t come home it just makes me want to come home and never come back… but then I think of how much I love Taiwan and my family here and what it would be like if I just stayed, got a job, and then who knows…

But that’s the point of life right??? Who knows what’s goin to happen?

wicked witch of the immigration office... yuuup straighhhht betch

Ok so obviously if anyone wanted almost immediate updates on my life, this wouldn’t be the place to check… it would be Facebook… so some people already know what happened... if you already know, no need to bore yourself with the same ol story...

So it was a hot minute ago that I went to the immigration office to inquire about what I needed for my application. I was helped by a guy who was really nice and apologetic that he wasn’t able to communicate with me in English, so that day I walked away with a list of things I needed (you can see the list in the last post)

So I get my mom’s ID and go to the hospital to get my health check (turns out I was missing a Mumps, Measles, and Rubella vaccine so I had to get one of those too… and boy did that shiz hurt! I wait 8 days for the results… you’ve got a healthy baby girl yall… everything checked out, had everything I needed and didn’t have the ickies, so I was ready to turn in my application. Woo yay!

I head over to the immigration office and was helped by the Wicked Witch’s more evil step sister who was still bitter from jipped in the family will… she took my application and the list and made sure everything was there… then like a rogue sniper honing in on his target…. She sees my birthday and accusingly half-yells, ‘You’re not 20’

[mind you this entire time she’s speaking in Chinese and when I try to explain to her I’m only getting half of what she’s saying, she doesn’t care and continues on…]

So I’m on a quick path to if you don’t calm the eff down I might involuntarily reach across this desk and slap you but I reign it in and tell her, ‘No I’m 25’

Very curtly she tells me I have the wrong list, promptly gets up and leaves, she comes back with a sheet of paper, circles (what I’m guessing is the section of required items I need) slaps the paper in front of me and tells me to leave and not come back till I have everything on the list. (She didn’t even try to explain the list in Chinese)

Stunned I grab the list and my things and leave… it wasn’t until I sat down at the bus stop that I even realized I was crying. (felt a bit bad for the lady sitting next to me… I think I freaked her out)

I was angry and upset and just a bunch of things… I felt like someone told me I wasn’t wanted here and I couldn’t go home either… it’s probably one of the worst feelings I’ve ever had. Talk about being stuck between a rock and a hard place…

2 weeks ago was 中秋節 (Mid-Autumn Festival… it’s the festival where you eat calorie packed moon cakes and yummy delicious pomelos… they’re shaped like a giant pear have the husk of a grapefruit but the meat itself is sweet) I spent a lovely evening with my family and got to hang out with my cousin and his very pregnant, very cute wife (they say they’re going to have a girl) and you better believe that she’s going to be SO spoiled.

Well, I had brought the list with me to have my uncle explain what I needed. It turns out I had everything on the list except a letter of clearance from the Police department AND I didn’t even need my mom’s ID (so I’m sorry Mommy for making you send it all the way here). Oh, for those of you who don’t know what a letter of clearance is it’s just an official document that sates that during my time here in Taiwan, I’ve had no felonies, misdemeanors, or arrests. (Yup that’s pretty much it, I had to get one from Alameda county before I moved here too… but we all know I’ve got a clean record… I’m a good girl)

So after dinner we tried to hit up the precinct closest to Grandma’s house. (Since my permanent address is in Badu my letter of clearance has to come from Keelung county) but when we asked if we were able to get it there… they said we’d have to go the police headquarters in Keelung City during weekday office hours. My cousin was willing to take me later in the week to get it.

So couple days later we’re in Keelung at the police headquarters trying to get my letter of clearance but it wouldn’t be ready till the next day so I’d have to come back to pick it up, which wouldn’t have been a problem but my cousin was smart enough to ask if they can mail it, and so that was our plan of attack. I just got word from my cousin’s wife yesterday that it just arrived at the office and I can pick it up any time.

YOU GUYS you know what that means?!?!? That’s the last thing I need for my application (well that and 600 NTDollars) once I turn that in I can get my Taiwan ID and once I have my Taiwan ID I can reapply for my Taiwan passport!!!

Oh how I wish I can tell you that the day I get my Taiwan passport I’ll also be buying a plane ticket home but that’s something I just can’t say right now… I’ll explain it a little later in the post… I think I need some happy subject to switch it up… you should also probably take a break… walk around… have some fruit, stretch a little… I know it’s a lot to take it all at once.

I told my dad what happened with the lady at the immigration office and of course his words make total sense... he's always said,

"Alicia, you're always going to run into rude people no matter where you are. Someone will always come along to ruin your day. It's just up to you on how you handle it...

but that lady was just bein a bitch!"

I love my dad so much, only he'd say shit like that, and it seriously was the only thing that made me feel better about the situation.

I know I'll always come across people like that, people won't always be kind or helpful or understanding... but I will always be me. So that means being kind and helpful and understanding... (or at least I try to be)

as for what other people so... it will only affect me as much as I let it...

(I've written more but I think I should break it down into separate posts for the sake and health of your eyeballs)

writing writing... crying... writing

sometimes...

i wish Taiwan had "normal" people sizes...




i wish Taiwan didn't think "normal" was a size 2...




one size does not fit all... and 'free' sizes don't make me feel free at all.




算了... 算了... 算了... 我該別想太多了吧...