There I go, I've gone and said it...: August 2011

So where should I start with this one?!

I had been writing bits n pieces since before my birthday and never really fleshed anything out, so now I’m sitting in Starbucks trying to get the whole of last month down …

Lets go with the oldest first…

It was maybe a couple of weeks ago I remember having lunch plans with a friend that were canceled, well later that evening I was suppose to meet up with my baby cousin for some fam bam bonding time… but I was so famished I resorted to… le gasp…

eating by myself…

I guess there’s no particular reason as to why I’m writing about this and I’m not goin to write about what it’s like to eat by oneself. It’s not that I’m not ok with eating by myself, it’s just the looks I get from people when I do.

I can see the pity in people’s eyes when they see this lonely foreigner eating by herself. I don’t know why but here it seems as if the sadness I can see in their faces could drown me… but when I eat by myself back home and I get a similar look, it never feels so heavy… it may just be, being the brown girl that I am, I just stick out too much? The way people look at me makes me feel like they think they looking through a window that’s just been cleaned with Windex. But they don’t really see me… not really.

But ya know as the ancient Tibetan philosophy states, What you eat, don’t make me shit… or maybe that was Jay-Z.

Ahhhhhhh speaking of being a brown girl… I GOTS MUH COLUUURRRR BACCKKK!!!

I’ve never been so happy to see tan lines in MY LIFE! I got my dad on Skype video chat just to show him and he happily reinstated my color status back to “paper sack tan” which is a BIG step up from calling me Casper… yeah, not cute hahaha

A couple of weeks ago was Chinese Valentine's Day (7/14 by the Lunar calendar), so of course the fam was headed to grandmas!

When I was on the way to grandmother’s house I ran into a thought…. What?! You thought I was gonna say a big bad wolf? Trust me aint nothing scarier than me lurkin round the cuts outside the city.

...

As I’m sitting on the train: the moment I realize I’m daydreaming about home a train that passes in the opposite directions snaps me back to reality…

So that lil blurb written above was taken from my iTouch notes... and as I reread the words I wrote, I know… or rather… I’m made aware of just how much I miss home.

But then *PING* I have another thought… I’ve fallen in love with the sound of trains rolling over tracks. Not that annoying beeping crossing bell signal thingy (like you’d hear if you got caught on 4^th Ave. right before you get to the 880 on ramp).

Just so we're clear here, no on the clang clang clang of the signal but yes to the steady click click click of the wheels rolling over where the railroad ties meet each other.

Marinating on the subject a bit more… it’s actually the first sound that provided a constant of sorts to my life here. The home I stayed in for the first month when I first arrived here in Taiwan was situated behind the train station in Badu. I had the room closest to the train station (probably no more than a football fields’ length away). Ya know back home it wouldn’t be hard to hear the sounds of cars flying down 580 right before they get to the Park Blvd. exit so it was comforting knowin the sound of cicadas in the summer wouldn’t be the only things to sing me to sleep. It was nice, I was grateful for the sound of the trains.

Onto other shizzzzz, like my BIRTHDAY!

Ok so it’s been almost a month since my 25^th birthday. So I won’t go into too much detail… just know it was wonderful and I love all my friends =)

I didn’t really do anything too special, I went to class, was even a good girl and went to do lab hours after a fabulous sushi lunch.

Later for dinner I met up with some friends at HOOTERS! Yup it was fun, had wings and beer. I’m not one to brag and I’m not even trying to but I put them Hooters girls to shame… it was kinda sad.

Anyway they pulled me up for a hula hoopin contest and to dance the cha cha slide for my birthday and it was tons of fun.

SUBJECT CHANGE! BAM… like whhaaaaaaaa

theories and PDA go hand in hand, heh heh you see what i did there?

Hahahhahaha I believe I’ve already complained about the overly PDA’d couples here in Taiwan. If I haven’t it’s just on overload, overdrive and just over excessive here. And it’s not even making out in public it’s just all the constant touching and the brushing each other’s hair, and dressing alike, dying your hair to match each others, blech, yuck, ugggghhhhhhhhhh

Don’t believe me???… I’ll show you.

high schoolers in the Metro

adults in the metro

TODAY IN STARBUCKS

YES THEY ARE ACTUALLY ASLEEP

and in two different chairs...

IT'S NOT EVEN A COUCH

Anyway, I have a theory ,of course backed up by nothing, but it’s just a theory.

As children I’ve noticed Taiwan parents and adults in general are very affectionate with children almost overly so. When they get to a certain age… I’m not too sure when it stops IT JUST STOPS... perhaps maybe elementary/junior high age… and that is where the need for the continuation of physical contact comes into play and so they find it in their boyfriend/girlfriend. So that’s my theory. Yup, brillz isn’t it?

can I come home, now? yeeeeeeeaaaaaNO

Anyone keepin track knows that this will probably be the millionth time I’ve said this… but my birthday marks 1 year of holding my Alien Residence Card (kinda the equivalent to a U.S. Green Card).

And yes I know that I’ve already been here a year, no need to tell me but I was issued my ARC on my birthday so shut it hahaha

So what does this all mean? It means I can finally apply for my Taiwan citizenship. Yesssssir! That means I’ll be putting in my application for both my Taiwan ID and Taiwan passport all in one go! CHYEAAAAAHHHHH booooooooooyyyyyyy

Here’s the thing, I know I was all gung ho about putting in my application at 7/27/2011 12:01 AM but I still had school and a big test looming over me… and in reality there is no rush. So I took my time, meandered on over the immigration office when I had a minute to ask slash verify what I needed to apply…

(They had “information” on their website but none helpful to a person in my situation; a person who already has a parent with dual citizenship. All the information was for foreigners who are applying to change their residency permanently instead of trying to hold two passports. That mess is crazy yall, if you had no family, blood, or marital ties to Taiwan you’d have to live in the country for 5 years without leaving once before you can apply. Reading that made me grateful mine was only a year.)

So here’s what they need:
Application: Check
Health Report (must have been done in the last 3 months): nope
Passport photos: Check

Mom’s TW ID: Check (thanks Mom!)

So I have to get to one of the hospitals cleared to do health checks. All they do is take X-Rays of my lungs, and draw 3 vials of blood and test the shit out of it to make sure I haven’t picked up any cooties in the year I’ve been here. It takes 8 days for the results and after I pick it up then there’s nothing to it but to do it. All I do is hand it all in and wait.

There is a tug at the back of my mind saying “oooOOOOOoooo what if they find something and reject your application” well you know what I say to that?! "Welllll shiiiiiiiiiet…. not much I can do bout it, now is there, no. So, ughhhh." I guess the only thing that would happen is when I do leave the country I’d probably have to pay a fine for not having a entry stamp from Taiwan in my U.S. passport.

While I’m on the subject of passports and leaving the country and shiizzzzzz let’s clear up those nasty nasty rumors shall we?

Please stop asking me if I’m coming home in September or if I have a date in mind… it makes me sad.

I know it wasn’t intentional for the info about me applying for my passport to spread and get all twisted up… especially seeing as how information flies faster than a witch on a broom through the family grapevine.

I can’t even bring myself to look at flights and dates especially not knowing when I’ll have a passport in hand. Everyone asks me "So, when ya coming home?" every time they speak to me...

(a nudge pushes up some anger and makes me wonder why I never ask “Well, when are you coming to Tawain?” in response to their intial question. I wonder if yall know that it may be because my want to come home is greater than your want to come see me here… i'm just saying... please don’t get bent outta shape bout it, it’s jus a thought. One by the way makes me sad.)

SO here it is ladies and bugs… I STILL DO NOT HAVE A PASSPORT WHICH MEEEEANNNNNS I do not… and I repeat DO NOT KNOW WHEN I’m COMING HOME… I do not know if I’ll come home as soon as I get my passport or if I’ll wait for the holidays or just not come home at all. Let’s take a poll… when would you want me to come home… you can vote “ASAP” or “HOLIDAYS”… comment or inbox me @ goneandsaidit@gmail.com
the not at all part really is not mean to be snarky
if i can get a job and depending on whether or not
i can take a holiday then yeah
...

AND and pay attention here… LIKE WITH MOST NEWS, you should ONLY BELIEVE IT IF IT COMES FROM THE SOURCE… so I will try and be more vigilant with providing it so you wont have to hear it from someone else from now on.

Gettin my learn on and a big ol test

Two things: First, I had the big test on the 12^th and I passed with an 86, I wasn’t too worried about it and I think going in without all that stress helped me do better on the test itself. Everyone in our class did really well. =) And second... I’ve decided to take a break from it. I think going through a year straight of learning a language is thoroughly exhausting and I’m just not used to it.

It’s not that I can’t learn more, the problems is with me. My entire social networks stems from my school. All my friends are foreigners that speak English… I need to make a break for it and try to make friends with the locals. My Chinese is slipping cause I have nothing to anchor it too. I don’t see my family often enough to practice it with them and every time I do see them... I’m afraid... I'm afraid I’ll say something wrong because even before I get the chance to open my mouth to say something they look at me with a look that says “Uhhhhhh, you’ve been here for a year already and you still can’t say a god damn word.” I think they've given up on me speaking... They now stick to yes or no questions... or if i take to long trying to figure out how to answer in Chinese someone will have answered it for me.

But they’re right and I’m ashamed, I feel like I let them down and I’m a disappointment. It's true… I am.

ps yallllll.... the hunt for a job is on… and that might throw another wrench into the gears working to get me home... especially if they don’t let me take a holiday… or if they do, how much time they’ll give me will be another thing =| we'll see my loves, we'll see...

visual update on ME

JULY/AUGUST