I know it been a very very long time and as you prolly know (if you read the last mini blurp of a pity blog) that my Christmas was obviously not the best on record.
This whole holiday season seemed to happily pull the rug out from underneath my feet, throwing me for one hell of an emotional loop, only THEN to give me a ninja kick midair straight to the gut only to land me square on my ass. yup kinda went. yup exactly like that.
The most obvious reason my heart was inch by inch a Grinch is that I'm here and my family is alllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll the way over across that big ol' blue pond.
I know I say this every time I talk about my 台灣 family (but it's only because it has remained true) my family here seems to have an unlimited amount of kindness, open heartedness, and generosity that I'm surprised I'm still surprised by it. The plain ol' truth is that Christmas is just not their thing, that's all.
The only people who seem to celebrate Christmas seems to be any and all shopping malls. BLEH, UGH, and FUHHHHHHHH IT MAKES ME SICK . Every time I saw all those fakey empty Christmas presents I just wanted to knock em all down, kick em and then for good measure stomp em flat. I wanted to take a knife to all those inflatable Santa's and Frosty's. Tip over the fake cone Christmas trees decorated with Tiffany's boxes instead of cherished family ornaments. Snatch off the mandatory ugly felt Santa hats the staff of shopping malls had to wear instead of fluffy personalized hats with bells hidden in the little white ball in the tip cause that's what Christmas really is (okay okay I know I know, the States aren't known for their lack of commercialism during the holidays but at least Christmas means MORE than just THAT back home).
Christmas is getting the house ready after Thanksgiving,
it’s about making our ancient plastic tree look like a tree that’s not about to fall to pieces (seriously if it was real it'd probably have fossilized, it's THAT old),
it’s shopping for gifts for Cristina's girls,
it's bearing through horribly sung carols so that you can FINALLY get to unwrapping the gifts,
it's fighting with my sister over the marshmallows on top of the baked yams,
it's about wearing my candy cane stripped knee high socks to work with my Christmas light bulb earrings that actually light up,
it's about being a 20something and still getting gifts from Santa knowing good n well that Santa's workshop also happens to be my parents bedroom.
it's chasing down my Cousin Jason for a hug even though he thinks I have the cooties,
it's about all of that,
it's about family and being with them and it just didn't happen this year.
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Chirstmas '09- upgraded my earrings to mini TopHat
on the way to work ;) |
and ultimately whose fault is that?!?!? mine of course. I chose to leave home I knew I wouldn't be able to go home for the holidays but I left anyway.
I just didn't know how fuckin hard it would be.
Maybe it’s not just the holidays I think it’s just for the first time ever I'm homesick. Yes, I done gone and said it… I’M HOMESICK… bleh and lemme tell you sir..,. its is NOT fun and it does NOT feel good.
Honestly I miss home so much it hurts. I can spend a good chunk of my day in bed crying, missing my dad, missing Mexican food, missing working at Sushi House , even missing something stupid like those little basil leaves I get in my TapEx crispy chicken (side order to my Jasmine Milk Tea... shouts to my girl Ducky holdin TapEx down)
That's the other thing. Not only am I missing home but I'm missing out on SO much I'm even envious of the walls that get to watch the lives of the people I love.
My sister is doin well (hopefully) living on her own for the first time.
Graciepoo decided to go back to school in Vegas no less… when I get home… I’m SO visiting you.
Melly Mel got a promotion... yay for health benefits and steady hours.
My bestest is 4-5 ish months preggers and I'd give anything to go to just one appointment; I'd even give one of my kidneys to be there for the birth of my lil nephew/niece.
and there's of course my parents... Mom is busy as usual and I know my Dads trying not to miss me as much as I miss him. I'm hoping he gets his shit together and starts to go back to the doctors... I think he's just scared they'll find something else wrong with him...
I hope you're reading this Daddy, I don't care who I have to call if you DON'T start taking care of your health… I'll track down who I have to and get your fishing license revoked, you hear me MISTER?!?!
it's hard to take care of him when I'm not there to kick his butt into gear ya know?!...
well I'm sure you know by now as part of my one year residency I CANNOT leave Taiwan (台灣) so why is it my Dad can't come to see me?
Dudes got vein issues and a history of clots, 13 hours of cabin pressure could very well likely kill him, ok so we don't know if it'll kill him BUT it would do irreparable damage to him and it's just NOT worth it.
Ok so that’s it for the holidays…
Onto other shiiiizzzz
I streaked the front part of my hair Purple and Blue… but its currently fading so it looks kinda periwinkle-ish.
I discovered Oolong Tea Crème Brûlée is the biznisssss.
I’m a proud member of the Taiwan National Health system… it only cost me $5 USD to see a doctor AND get meds for my sickies.
The establishment of Taiwan is going to mark its 100th year this New Years.
I’m debating about whether or not I like my Chinese class.
I think I REALLY need a job…
I think I REALLY need to make some friends…
I’m considering getting back into dance.
and...
I think that’s enough for today.
